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Sporty Spice Pictures, Images and Photos

You thought Sporty Spice was a lesbian didn't you? We don't all wear wallet chains, wrist cuffs and have tribal tattoos! Ok, well...some of us don't.

Last week was Fashion’s Night Out in NYC. As I strolled Burberry with a glass of citrusy champagne in my hand, looking for the next tray of appetizers, I realized I was surrounded on all sides by straight women and gay men. Particularly of interest was one gay man in a spiky leather jacket that could take my eye out. I enjoy the gift of sight, so I scurried away.

The whole night got me thinking about the invisibility of gay women in the fashion industry in general, despite the fact that Patricia Field is arguably the most famous stylist in the world. While fashionistas know that she is the stylist for Sex and the City and Ugly Betty, fewer of them know that she’s a lesbian. Comedian Chelsea Handler also has a lesbian stylist on her super popular show “Chelsea Lately.” Despite this, lesbians aren’t exactly synonymous with fashion. Jokes about lesbian’s bad fashion sense are everywhere in the media and on the internet (I’m looking at you, every man on E!’s ‘Fashion Police’) The basic gist of these jokes are:

  • We wear plaid/flannel.
  • We look like men (as if there is anything wrong with that. Hi Rachel, I heart you)
  • We wear ugly, comfortable shoes. (Just ask country singer Jewel, who wears “lesbian shoes” while not performing)
  • We don’t wear make-up. (Hugh Grant thinks he looks like an old lesbian!)
  • We don’t have curves.

Even for people who don’t make jokes, if someone asks you “does this make me look like a lesbian?” We all know what that means and it’s not good. So, lesbians don’t get fashion right all the time. But neither does anyone else. Maybe the question we ask ourselves shouldn’t be “Does this make me look gay?” but “Does this make me look stupid?” Let’s take a look at some of this year’s fashions.

Por example, Burberry things you should wear a skunk on your head this fall/winter.

Skunk or beaver? If it's beaver, than you would look like a lesbian.

DKNY has decided that Spring 2012 is going to the dogs…because even a color blind laborador retriever will see these red and blue floral shorts…and matching bikini top…and matching hat…and jacket…and shoes.

Curb your dog

Peter Som and Thakoon want you to embrace plaid and teflon this winter.

Non-stick all the way, baby!

I may not understand fashion, but I do understand not looking like a nut job. And isn’t that the most important fashion rule of all?