I do a lot of gay things. I hit up dyke bars, watch queer movies, read lezzie blogs and I’m noticing a trend. There’s a lot of talk about “dyke drama” and “dramatic lesbians.” It makes me wonder- are lesbians more dramatic than straight women?
I would say no. I know I’m dramatic. My penchant for the dramatic stems from my being a writer not from my sexual orientation.
Here’s my theorem (mad fancy word right? Just call me Professor Hot Femme) on why there is a lot of drama in the lesbian community: because we all date each other. We aren’t crazier than any other group of people, but once hooking up and romantic emotions come into play, that’s going to lead to drama.
Think of a large group of straight people of mixed genders that are friends. Like, remember when you went to college and your whole dorm floor became lovers and friends? Then by senior year everyone had dated everyone else and thank god you were all graduating because no one could stand looking at each others faces anymore?
Or, think of the TV show Friends. There were three straight men and three straight women and that fueled like, 10 years worth of drama. I’ve only seen a few episodes of that show, but I’ve seen enough to know that it might not be a compliment when people say I remind them of Phoebe.
My point is, there’s going to be just as much drama once sex and feelings get involved in any group of people. Lesbians aren’t inherently more dramatic. BUT it is harder for us to get away from the drama. The group from your college dorm probably dispersed after college. The world is smaller, they probably comment on each other’s Facebook statuses and meet up for drinks once in a blue.
For lesbians, it’s much harder to escape the source of the drama because if you are in the same city, chances are you are hanging out in the same places as all the other lezzies. So the drama doesn’t disperse like it does for other people. You are going to see your ex at ladies night at Bar 13, because the drinks are cheap and it’s a nice change from your usual hang outs. You’re going to be with your new girlfriend and she’s going to be with hers and someone is going to want to scratch someone else’s eyes out. That’s not dyke drama, that’s forced by circumstance drama. If straight people in NYC had to go to the same 3 bars every weekend and the rest of us had the run of the city, you can bet “dyke drama” wouldn’t be part of our vernacular.
There’s also a more complicated part of being here and queer. We can potentially hook up with everyone we know. Let’s look at Friends again. There would be serious ramifications if Monica dated one of Rachel’s exes. That’s The Rule for straight women, you don’t date a friends ex. Meanwhile, in your group of friends anything goes. Your best friend can date your ex and if you live in a town with 5 lesbians and know them all, you are going to have to put a smile on your face and be happy for her. Because who else is she going to date? Stop being selfish, shellfish eater.
But, unless you are an unfeeling lesbian cyborg, you also can’t turn off your feelings and this will lead to DRAMA. It’s the nature of the girl-on-girl beast. Luckily, dating women and being friends with women who date women is awesome enough to make it all worth it.
So complain about the drama all you want. But remember, if you were straight, the drama wouldn’t disappear.
So what do you think? Are lesbians more dramatic?