The Minority Report: Femmes-Ask That Boi Out!

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advice, AG, Ask Her Out, bar, boi, butch, club, Dating, dinner, femme, gay, in the club, lesbian, LGBT, nightlife, pick up lines, Queer, stud

Oh man, this cat has no filter! He just says what's on his mind, he don't care!

Tis the season to be full and lazy! I know that after the holiday rush, I’m exhausted. If you’re like me, you’re not going to ask any one out until you’ve hit the gym for a few weeks. So let’s sit on the sidelines for a minute and strategize.

Femmes, are you tired of not getting dates because no one can look at you and tell you’re gay? It’s time to take matters into your own hands and walk up to the hot girl at the bar and ask her out. Sometimes, a femme just has to take her fate into her own hands! Check out mine and Cynthia’s tips for approaching a girl and leave your own in the comments.

Happy Holidays From Hot Femme! Plus, Proof Santa is Real and in Brooklyn

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ambulance, Brooklyn, chanukah, Christmas, ems, gatos, hanukkah, Manhattan, NYC, Pied a terre, Santa

Happy Holidays lovelies! The Hot Femme household is an interfaith household. So let’s celebrate the holidays with this delightful Hanukkah Cat:

Holidays are better con gatos!

Now on to Christmas! You’re here to see if Santa is real or not right? Well BEHOLD Santa is not only real, but unlike Hot Femme, who spent Christmas Eve frantically wrapping gifts, Santa had time to get low. Obvs he is not a procrastinator. Does anyone else feel like the holidays surprise them every year, even though you should see them coming after 27 years on earth? Ooorr is it just me?

My sister was walking to the Subway in Brooklyn, so she could get to my Manhattan pied-à-terre and she caught Santa getting funky on top of an ambulance! He was surrounded by EMS, Cops and adorable children with their loving parents, of course.

Have a great Holiday and stay safe.

xoxoxo

The Femme

A Crush is Born

Tags

boi, Cat Cora, Elizabeth Faulkner, hot, Iron Chef, Iron Chef America, lesbian, LGBT, Queer, reality tv, The Food Network, The Next Iron Chef, TV

Holiday FAIL? I haz it

It’s been awhile hasn’t it? I hope you all are surviving the holiday season a little better than Hot Femme has. Anyway, besides my guilt over not having my tree up and not yet calling back the many relatives who I’m lucky enough to have love me, I’ve been thinking about something…GAY. Shocking right?

I rarely get crushes on celebrities, they’re so girly. I’m sure that a lot of femmes have the same problem I have. It’s not that I don’t think celebrities aren’t beautiful, it’s just that I don’t want to sleep with them. Just like I don’t get crushes on straight women in everyday life, most celebrities don’t give me a lady boner. I like girls who look like boys. Long flippy hair, cleavage and mile long eyelashes don’t do it for me. I can’t fantasize about Shane from The L Word and Rachel Maddow forever.

Ok...so I can crush on Rachel forever BUT a girl needs some variety

So ladies, want to know the hot new boi in town? Chef Elizabeth Falkner.

You're Welcome. (image via http://www.thefoodnetwork.com)

Chef Falkner has been on my radar for a few years actually. I first noticed the bleach blond pastry chef when she started appearing on Food Network Challenges. The problem? She made crazy avant garde ‘desserts’ that didn’t look very appetizing and that doesn’t get my kitchen very hot. But as of this week she was the runner up on The Food Network’s Next Iron Chef competition and bitch should have won. The combination of ‘boi’ + ‘incredible talent’ + ‘food’ = too hot for words.

Team Falker! (image via http://www.thefoodnetwork.com)

Faulkner lost the competition, which broke my heart. Not only because I was THIS CLOSE to seeing her on TV every week, but because if she had won she would have replaced out chef Cat Cora. Cora was the only female Iron Chef and one of my fave celesbians. Cora left “Iron Chef” without any explanation, but I would assume that her skyrocketing career and four children probably had something to do with her decision to leave the show.

Did I mention how hot Cat is?

Even hotter when she does shots at the end of each battle

Erm, I guess to sum up this post: There was almost a really hot boi on TV for you to oogle every week, instead of the stereotypical hotties that Hollywood churns out like Happy Meals. But, if you would like to oogle Chef Falkner from the privacy of your own computer, you can check her out here: http://elizabethfalkner.com/bio.html

Don’t say I never gave you anything! So what do you think, is Chef Falkner hot or not?