Tags
advice, AG, Ask Her Out, bar, boi, butch, club, Dating, dinner, femme, gay, in the club, lesbian, LGBT, nightlife, pick up lines, Queer, stud
Oh man, this cat has no filter! He just says what's on his mind, he don't care!
Tis the season to be full and lazy! I know that after the holiday rush, I’m exhausted. If you’re like me, you’re not going to ask any one out until you’ve hit the gym for a few weeks. So let’s sit on the sidelines for a minute and strategize.
Femmes, are you tired of not getting dates because no one can look at you and tell you’re gay? It’s time to take matters into your own hands and walk up to the hot girl at the bar and ask her out. Sometimes, a femme just has to take her fate into her own hands! Check out mine and Cynthia’s tips for approaching a girl and leave your own in the comments.
Hot Femme in the City 
Bois, girls, eh. When I looked at that picture of that fat cat I thought I was looking in a mirror!
That’s what I look like too!
I was “off the market” girl-wise even before I knew I was on it so my experience is pretty nil too…Hehehe!!
However, when I’m wanting to flirt a bit with my sweetie I like to send her little e-mail to ask her to dinner or out for the evening and I like to add a youtube link for a song she’ll like…. (or one that I hope will put her in the mood for some playtime…. 😉 ) and that always seems to work for me….
Ummmm.. errrr…. but then I suppose that’ll only work if you’ve already got her number…. D’ohhhh!! Thank goodness I’ve already got a girlfriend….
Awwww. As usual, you two are the cutest couple ever! And yeah, it’s good you are already happily settled! :p
LMAO! Great vid! Okay, if you dip your finger in the vodka and soda first… I’m still keeping my wet clothes on, but I’m thinking about it and we’re still talking!
I can’t believe this is still stuck at three comments. Must be the holidays. I’m just going to light a fire… admitting first that I’m clueless…
And presuming we’re in a club…
I’m a ball of freaking nerves. I’ve never approached anyone before, so I’ll pretend I’m a little drunk (cuz I’d bout have to be) and I like the way that black spray paint is hugging you…
I’m gonna do what I instinctively feel, work the moment. Let’s just say you’re sipping a… Kamikaze and D just tossed… haha Pink’s “So What” out there for some unseen agenda…
I walk up and lean on the bar, pretend to notice your drink. “Ooh, that looks… um… green… what is it?” I wait for you to start to answer and then look up and make eye contact. If your eyes match your ass, I interrupt with “Will I start a fight if I order you another?” …otherwise I smile and let you tell me what’s in it, while I listen to Pink start her own damn fight.
Great tips! Asking about a drink is always a great idea. Never approached anyone before? Get that ball rolling girl!
LOL. Ok, I’ll be sure to dip my finger in my drink instead of licking it! 😉
good approach
Thanks sweetie!
ha OOH I wish I could see this vid! This is what I get for relying on a work computer… grumble grumble…
awww. Boo urns! Watch at a friend’s house and then you can BOTH comment with your dating tips. We need more on this thread!
Can I help you out of those wet clothes, hahahaha. That would work on me. Sadly. Hey, as a boi or soft butch, I LOVE when femmes come up to me and smile and say hello. If she asks me out, so much the better. So, ladies, when you see me (I’ll be the one in purple high tops) please feel free to come up and say, “Hey, want to go out with me sometime?” I’d love it.
Sometimes simple is best!
Before anything, establish eye contact from across the room. A few times if possible. This will determine whethe or not you should be ballsy enough to approach. Once that’s happened I would write my number and something cute on a napkin, walk over and leave her with that and tell her I think she’s stunning.
Keep it short and sweet and walk away. This leaves it open with out the chance of direct rejection.
If she never calls, whatever. You left her with a compliment and probably made her night.
I know, so smooth.
Nooo don’t walk away, stay and talk! 🙂
I HAVENT HAD THE CHANCE TO ASK ANY FEMME OUT….FOR SOME ODD REASON I’VE MET ALL MY EX’S (5) OVER THE PHONE…IM A STUD AND I WOULD FIND IT HARD TO ASK A FEMME OUT….USUALLY IN PERSON…THE WOMEN THAT ASK ME FOR A DATE ARE SIMPLY NOT MY TYPE…IM NOT INTO BAR OR CLUB SCENE SO ITS KIND OF HARD TO MEET WOMEN IM ATTRACTED TOO….SINGLE HERE FOR 4 YRS NOW….
Four years! That’s a long time. Girl, give the next woman who asks you out a chance. Going on one date won’t hurt and if nothing else, you could end up with a new friend.
When my game was at its best (and consequently, the quality of partners at its worst), I found that being myself for some reason reeled the hottest girls at the party, i.e., “today’s my birthday — wanna be my birthday kiss?” or “I think you’re gorgeous. If you get your body by working out, you definitely need to sweat it out with me…. [wink, smile] …at the gym I mean [tenacious laugh].” I think us women — femmes, bois, and in-betweens — need to start thinking less “what will she like about me” and rather “why wouldn’t she like me.” I think turning that question around makes all the difference since women can smell fear. I took this to an extreme and when the hottest girl in the party (and quite possibly the country) showed interest I made her sweat and work for my attention until I was convinced she wasn’t in it just for the sex. Don’t forget: women like a challenge so making her work for it also definitely piques more than interest and curiosity; it lets her know you know what you’re worth, consequently forcing her to step up her game. My two cents 🙂
Best. Comment. Ever. You must read a lot of Ask the Femme! 😉 pay attention ladies! You too could end up with the hottest girl in your time zone.
What can I say, I’m a fan 😉 ….and dare I say my girl is the hottest female in all time zones? 😉 I’m in love 😀 Cheers!
You are both the hottest! So glad you two found each other! Xoxo
I enjoyed your post. Since I’m in a relationship, I haven’t asked anyone out in ages. I almost forget how it’s done. Sad, isn’t it?
At any rate, I noticed that you stopped by my blog today and subscribed. Just wanted to thank you and return the favor. Hope to see you again soon!
Kathy
Thanks for dropping by Kathy! Hope to see you around!
Hey girls! Great post!
I thought I was the only one who found it uncomfortable when someone focuses on your looks! I know it sounds like I’m being a self-righteous middle class white girl, but I would much rather someone tell me how great I seem personality wise than looks wise! Which obviously, you can’t really discern after five minutes, but the whole “you’re so beautiful” line seems so superficial.
Maybe this doesn’t work though…I haven’t been picked up in ages. Woe.
Thanks! As I get older, I like people to appreciate my personality more. Haha, if I was single and in Australia I would totally hit on you! 😉
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