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I don’t understand fashion. I understand clothes that look sexy, or cute, or comfortable or flirty or badass. But I can’t quite grasp why it is fashion designers try to outdo themselves to see who can get women to wear the craziest article of clothing they can manufacture. Today, I was walking by Urban Outfitters and saw THIS:


Let me just say, I don’t have a problem with Urban Outfitters, but I think Urban Outfitters might have a problem with me. Let’s break this down, they think women want to buy a high waisted skirt, with elastic, that’s made of jersey the same color of silly putty after you’ve stuck it on a newspaper too many times. That wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t feature a cut out flap right over the part that the skirt is designed to cover. It reminds me of a fresh modern take on the curtain dress that Scarlett O’Hara made out of curtains. Only in modern times Scarlett was aiming for easy access.

The mannequin features the skirt knotted demurely at the knee, positioned in the right way to hit you in the knees as you walk, but really why stop there. Why not knot it as high up as you can and really get some air circulating up there. Or, throw it over your shoulder for that Game of Thrones “prostitute from King’s Landing” look.

I like the asymmetrical hemline look, but I cannot get down with this. Can you?