Nothing Says ‘Pride’ Like the NYC Dyke March

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boobs, dyke, Dyke March, Fifth Avenue, Frisco, gay, Gay community, gay love, Gay Pride, gay rights, GLBT, gogo dancers, hot girls, hot lesbians, June, Lesbian Avengers, lesbian community, lesbian mom, lezzie, LGBT, New York City, NYC, Pride, Pride Month, San Francisco, sexy lesbian, village, Washington Square park

Dyke March banners from years past, on display at NYC’s LGBT Center

I love Pride month. For me, the highlight of June is when half the lesbians in NYC march down Fifth Avenue. The NYC Dyke March isn’t nearly as well known as the Pride Parade. As most of you know, large cities each tend to have their own Pride parade in June. In New York, the Dyke March always happens the Saturday before the main June Pride event, the parade. I went to the march for the first time last year, before then I literally did not know it existed and I’ve lived here my whole life. I had to go back again this year. That was my last Pride activity as I spent NYC Pride traveling to San Francisco and subsequently missed Pride in both cities! Which totally blew, but it was an amazing way to end my June gaylebrations.

All that was left of Frisco pride by the time I got into town, sad face.

Didn’t make it to NYC Pride either? Check out one of my fav blogs,  Lame Adventures for a full report.

But I want to talk about the Dyke March, it’s been going on for twenty years, probably right under your nose and like me, you didn’t know about it. Basically, it’s awesome. I have to admit, I kind of like it more than Pride because it’s shorter and more like an old school activist rally than a parade.

These lesbians march!

It started in 1992, when lesbians started marching for visibility after the NYC public schools decided to cut out any mention of the lesbians in schools. So a bunch of lesbians started protesting and called themselves the Lesbian Avengers. Then, they started protesting for civil rights and to protest violence against the LGBT community after a gay man and a lesbian were burned alive in their home. The Lesbian Avengers staged protests where they literally ate fire to bring attention to the violence against us. Pretty heavy stuff, and if you want the entire story, check out their website. The work these women put into the movement twenty years ago is the reason so many of us can be out and proud today.

So to celebrate and promote our visibility we walk, sans a permit, from Bryant park to Washington Square park. Oh and did I mention some women choose to protest topless? Yes. Yes they do. While it is undeniably hot, it also sharply calls attention to the double standard of men being able to go topless while on women it’s considered indecent. In this manifestation, bare female chests look beautiful, natural and powerful.

And then the topless women jump into the big fountain in the park…and get all wet. Did your inner perv just say “schawing?” Mine did.

Washington Square Park in the Village, completely swarmed with lesbians! What LGBT event would be complete without overly priced rainbow merch merch for sale?

Queer girls playing in the fountain on a hot day

A lone topless marcher braves the middle of the fountain. Lezzie momma’s brought their kids, decked out in their finest rainbow attire!

If you haven’t gone, go next year. It is a beautiful thing to see, and you will be more moved than you think and feel more accepted for who you are than you ever have.
…and then go out and party, of course! This year I went to Siren, at the South Street Seaport, which of course, featured a mermaid theme and even more boobs!

My fav mermaid ever and the lucky grrl that got to dance with her!

Gay rights and boobs! June is the best month to be a queer girl in NYC.

I Love Being a Lesbian: Body Acceptance Edition

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appearance, Beauty, body acceptance, body image, Dating, diversity, gay, gay girl, gay girls, lesbian, lesbian sex, LGBT, Love, Piercings, playboy, Pride, Pride Month, Queer, Rachel Maddow, relationships, sexy, Tattoos

Pride month is halfway over and I thought I’d take this opportunity to write about one of the things I love most about being gay.

Umm besides the hot, hot lesbian sex, of course

I love the acceptance of the queer community of all kinds of looks. Straight woman have a very strict standard of beauty they have to adhere too. They can either be hot like Britney Spears hot or like Megan Fox hot. Society, parents and boyfriends constantly scream at them to be thinner, younger, whiter, blonder. This is what I call being “conventionally attractive.”

You can be the one on the right, or you can be the one on the left.

I’m not saying that lesbians don’t suffer from that kind of pressure or that we are perfect. But the truth is, we have a much more diverse standard of beauty than mainstream society. Conventional beauty is great, but unconventional beauty needs to be appreciated too, and in our community it is. No matter what your  look is I promise you are going to be able to find a girl that’s crazy into it. Lesbians are into a rainbow of different looks. Like, gay girls go crazy for the uber-curvy out rocker Beth Ditto, who would probably never be featured inPlayboy.

Go on with your bad self, girl!

We celebrate all backgrounds

We line up to make out with girls with piercings

We love women who smash gender conventions

Ink? Yes, please

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your look is the outer manifestation of who you are on the inside. It’s the face you choose to show the world and that’s why there are so many magazine, TV shows and books devoted to looks. Finding acceptance in this world is so hard. Queer girls all know that hot women come in all colors, shapes and sizes. No matter what you look like, you can be sure that you will find a sexy lid for your sexy pot. And I am so proud to be a part of that.

LGBT Wedding Trends For 2012

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2012, bachelor party, bachelorette party, bridesmaids, cake topper, Destination Weddings, disco, dogs, Donna Summers, gay, Green, June, lesbian, LGBT, marriage, marry, pets, Pride, Pride Month, Queer, Wedding Season, Wedding Trends, Weddings

Let’s get some Donna Summers playing up in this bitch.

It’s Pride month! Those of us who are single and ready to mingle are probably partying it up in the pride events that are taking place all over the country. However, for those of us that have been coupled up for years and have family members asking about babies, this time of year is more commonly known as wedding season.

Queer, straight or otherwise you are probably gearing up to attend someone else’s special day. Or maybe you are thinking of planning your own big event? Or daydreaming about the hot barista and planning a wedding before she even knows your name? Here are some of the top trends that the gays are employing into their nuptial celebrations so your big day doesn’t turn into a “My Big Fat Gay Wedding” disaster:

1. Destination Weddings

This trend used to be called “eloping” or “We’re going to Canada where it’s legal” but Destination Wedding sounds so much sexier, doesn’t it? Why is this trend popular? Because there is a one in 10 chance that you live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, so most of us are going to be traveling for our big day so make it fabulous! Don’t sneak away by yourselves, hire a planner or quit your job and devote yourself to planning your big day in an exotic locale. Iowa, the gay-friendly state that could, is reporting a boost in tourism directly related to same-sex weddings. Giving back to a community that has recognized our rights is a great way to celebrate your love! Plus, I hear the corn is as high as an elephant’s eye there…or something like that.

This isn’t Iowa…but it looks awesome.

2. Joint Bachelor/ette Parties

File this one under Best. Trend. Ever. Joint Bachelor and bachelorette parties mean that the wedding isn’t going to be called off because someone got drunk and accidentally groped a stripper. If you can party with your spouse-to-be you avoid all the drama, hurt feelings, jealousy and anxiety that live hand-in-hand with these bashes. Or you can sleep with the stripper together! Whatever works.

Lez party…together.

3. Furry Flowergirls and Ring Bearers

I know lesbians, we love our pussycats but maybe putting them in our wedding ceremonies is crossing the line? Apparently, the answer is no. Cats in tophats and dogs in bridesmaid dresses are taking over the internet. I for one, am guilty of following this trend. My 3 pound Yorkie wore lilac silk to my wedding. The only rule to remember when putting your pooch in the nuptial line of fire is be kind. Make sure you have someone to put your pet someplace safe once the festivities are underway and make sure they have food and water. Plus, keep any animal tormenting children far, far away.

True confession? My dog might have worn a similar dress to my wedding. And it might come with a matching headband.

4. Same-sex Wedding Cake Toppers

Cute and kitch, many LGBT couples are opting to put two little Grooms or two little Brides at the top of their cakes. Wedding cake toppers have gone out of style among the hetero set, with outrageously priced and fondant sleek cakes being the norm. However, if you are queer- go ahead and shout it from the top of your cake!

5. Green Weddings

No, I’m not talking about color schemes, I’m talking saving the earth! Gays love a good trip down altruism lane and we have led the charge when it comes to environmental friendliness. When I got married, we contracted with a printer that used all recycled paper. This meant that our save-the-dates, invitations, menus, place cards and thank-you notes were all green! We also used a party bus to shuttle people to and from their hotels, that really cut down on the CO2 emissions and let our guests get as drunk as they wanted! Totally a win-win for all involved.

Signs She’s Just Not That Into You

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boi, cute girl, Dating, femme, friend zone, gay, He's Not That Into You, Hot Girl, lesbian, LGBT, Playa, Queer, rejection, relationship advice, relationships, Sex and the City, texting, The L word

This isn’t about getting the girl, it’s about getting the right girl.

“He’s Just Not That Into You” was a huge cultural sensation for straight women when it first debuted on Sex and the City. Since there, there has been a book and a movie to demonstrate all the rules that straight women should follow to ascertain if a guy is into her or not. I’m not going to lie, there are parts of this that drives me crazy, like advising straight women not to make the first move on a guy she likes and instead be hunted, Bambi style. BUT I can also see the benefits of moving on and not wasting your time on someone who doesn’t recognize how great you are. After my post last week, where I suggested that a woman who was recently single used the expression “not ready to date” as a way to blow an interested lady off, I decided maybe it’s time to talk about how to recognize when a girl likes you likes you, as opposed to just liking you. This is going to be a kinder, gentler version of the “Not That Into You” playbook.

She’s Not That Into You If She Doesn’t Contact You Back.

Because this is advice aimed for queer women, I’m going to skip “if she never contacts you first.” There’s always confusion about who should contact whom in the gay world , so never be shy about making the first move. If she likes you or is on the fence, making the first move always scores major points. Even if she’s a boi and you’re femme. (Watch this Vlog for more insight on that, boi’s love a femme who can take initiative)

OK, so let’s assume you’ve met the girl and contacted her either by text, email, phone call, Facebook message, etc. Annnnnd no response. Alright, maybe she didn’t see your communication or she was particularly busy and it got buried under an avalanche of emails. If you really liked her, contact her one more time. If you don’t hear from her within 24 hours, consider it a lost cause, move on and don’t contact her first again.

So cute together! Too bad She’s not over her ex and won’t ever bother texting this girl back.

Yes, there’s a million reasons you didn’t hear from her. But there’s so many ways to get in touch now, that there’s really no excuse for her to ignore you after you messaged her twice. Except of course…that she’s not that into you.

She’s Not That Into You If She Never Asks You Questions. 

Me? I’m washing my cat tonight…and every night for the next year. I’m really too busy to date.

When a girl does this, it means she either doesn’t care about getting to know you or that she doesn’t want to encourage communication. Let’s look at some examples:

You: Hey, I hear that the weather in your town is great today!

Her: Yeah it is.

If she liked you, she would have found a reason to keep the conversation going, or even use it as a way to get you to hang out with her. Let’s try this conversation again and see the difference.

You: Hey, I hear that the weather in your town is great today!

Her: Yeah it is, I’m going to go to the beach later. Are you a beach person? Want to come with?

Getting the picture? Let’s try one more.

You: Tanya told me that you wrote your thesis on the suffrage movement as seen through the eye of Lord Byron’s poetic works. That’s so awesome, I love Byron too.

Her: Yeah, it was okay.

You: I’d love to read it.

Her: Sure.

If she was into you, and you were discussing her passion with her, she would take the opportunity to either gush about it, or ask a question about you. In this case, she could have asked what your favorite Byron poem is. (Which is why God invented Google)

Anywho, the point is, you want a crush that ways to know about you as much as you want to know about her.

She’s Not That Into You If She Friend Zone’s You. 

Lesbi-friends…or make out.

There’s a lot of different signs that you’ve been put into the Friend Zone by a crush. Let’s start this section off with a confession, in my post last week, I said in response to a commenter, that “if she tries to set you up with someone else, she’s not that into you.” But I’ve totally done this. In college, I was in a long distance relationship  with Shane when I met Bette (names have been changed). I thought Bette was amazing! So much fun, cuddly, smart, artistic and I could tell she was feeling me too. But Bette also liked my friend Tina. So I set Tina and Bette up, they liked each other but were too shy to get anything off the ground. When Shane and I broke up, I started dating Bette, almost immediately. Right.
So let’s say, “if she’s single and she tries to set you up with someone else, she’s not that into you.”

Some other examples of Friend Zoning include:

Telling you about her crushes/hot women…constantly. Everyone does it once in awhile, but if you’re all like “Let’s get ice cream” and she’s like “OMG there’s this girl in my yoga class, sooo hot, she loves ice cream.”

Do you see what she did there? She didn’t say “I’d love to see you” or “What flavor are you getting?” So she’s your friend and she likes you, but you’re pretty far from her thoughts romantically.

If she flirts, but never delivers

Some women are natural flirts. If she confuses you by saying things like “we would be perfect for each other!” but always flakes out when you try to set up a date, or flat out ignores any serious attempts at dating, she doesn’t actually think you are perfect for her. Or if you do get her on a date and then after that she only wants to see you in a group of friends, it means she doesn’t want to continue dating you, but does care about you as a friend.

I probably get the most “Ask the Femme” questions revolving around women who give “mixed signals” because they are flirty and flakey. In some cases, these women are leading you on on purpose. Some people keep admirers around to boost their ego. The only way to get the attention of someone like this is to ignore her. Once you do, you might realize that you weren’t that into her.

If Someone Isn’t Into You, Don’t View it as Rejection

Find the girl that’s into you and don’t settle for less.

If a woman isn’t into you, don’t take it as rejection. It’s not. It just means that you aren’t the right choice for her right now. Maybe she has to grow, maybe you do, or maybe you two just aren’t meant to be. But you can’t wait around for someone who may or may not “come around.” Honestly, life is too short. Find a girl who gets butterflies every time you text her, who blushes when you flirt with her and who is as crazy about you as you are about her.