Interview with Drae Campbell of Prime: The Queer Party for Grown Folks

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Brooklyn, Drae Campbell, gay, Interview, lesbian, LGBT, nightlife, NYC, Over 30, Parties, Pride, Prime, Queer

Head to Prime June 22nd!

It’s Pride season and it’s time to party! I’ve been getting a ton of questions from women in their 30’s about where they can go to meet and party with women their own age. Lovlies, I have an answer. It’s a queer party in Brooklyn called Prime and it’s run by former Ms. Lez Drae Campbell. In her own words, Prime is the queer party for grown folks. Specifically geared toward queers over 30 and the people who love them! Their pride party takes place this Saturday at Jack’s. I was lucky enough to get to sit down with Drae to get the inside track on how Prime came to be.

How did you brainstorm the vision behind Prime?

The vision for Prime is ever evolving. Basically I want to make a fun party that doesn’t treat older people as if they’re ‘old’.  Just because I’m over 30 doesn’t mean I want to stand around having important conversations or doing whatever is expected of my age. We all need to blow off steam and dance and laugh and feel awkward and hook up and whatever it is you do at a party. Just be social sometimes.

I’m inspired by other successful Brooklyn parties such as Yes Ma’am , Hey Queen and Azucar.  I’m also inspired by the queer community.

When it comes to 30 something’s, what are some of the obstacles to finding a place to meet new friends or potential partners?

I feel that nightlife is mostly geared toward young people. The parties that are geared toward older people are geared toward our professional lives. Our work is important but it can easily be mixed with our imaginative, fun side. It’s a facade that acting mature means you are mature. I often find it’s the opposite. Other obstacles are that lots of people over 30 are coupled up and feel that going to a party is for single people or young people.

How does Prime try to help smooth over some of the social challenges of being here, queer and over 30?

I’ve noticed that lots of people like to make jokes about Prime being the older peoples party, it starting early and lots of being old type jokes. I love that. I like that we can laugh at ourselves. It creates community within community as well.

A few Prime parties have featured queer performers. Is it important to you to help promote artists at the event?

Absolutely. I’m an entertainer and a performer myself, so i’m very interested in featuring performers and entertainers as part of the event.

We’ve had lots of burlesque at Prime, but we also had a performance from the hit musical ‘The Lesbian Love Octagon”,  we’ve had rapper Dio, ‘The Native American Gandih’, burlesque performer, Divina Gransparkle and for our Prime Pride party we will be playing the films of renowned photographer Katrina Del Mar on repeat while we dance.  AND, we will have free treats and vegan goodies from the new queer owned baked good co. , Mister Sister as well as $affordable homemade jello shots from Mizz June of June-O shots.  Love having all these self made women and queers offering their amazing talents. June 22nd is gonna be like some crazy amazing queer pride carnival. Can’t wait!

Also, we have one really special thing at Prime that you probably won’t find anywhere else.. It’s called ‘The Woo Corner’. Basically , there’s this amazing woman named Shaina who comes to the party and people line up and fight to see her. She does ‘unblockings’ and intuitive readings. She has an uncanny knack for reading people and helping them refocus.

Also,  it’s a great conversation starter and  taps into a lot of stuff you think about more seriously as you get older. She’s really great in matters of love, success, money. All that stuff. She’s helped me. She’s awesome.

I think the success of Prime has a lot to do with DJ Noa D. Noa is a great, creative, hard working DJ who knows how to vibe off the crowd. Noa plays the old stuff that we like and the hits that the kids love as well.  When Noa spins, people do not stop dancing. At our Pride party on June 22nd, we’re gonna have both NOA and DJ Shomi Noise. If you haven’t heard Shomi spin, come to this party.

Prime is held at Jack’s, for now. Is it hard to convince a straight venue to use space for queer party?

Jack is a theater and event space. Alec Duffy, who I know from the the theater world, is my contact. From what I can tell Alec and JACK are interested in making JACK a part of the community it is in be it queer, straight, what have you. They do a lot of amazing work and a couple other queer events.  I haven’t had any trouble at all.  Alec was very interested and open about making JACK a safe , queer space for Prime.

What are some of your most memorable Prime stories?

I had several people tell me they met someone or made a date or got a number at Prime. That’s the best. Other than that, whatever happens at Prime, stays at Prime. We are grown folks, after all.

Want to go to Prime? RSVP on their FB page

No Glove, No Love: Grrl Style

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adult, adult toys, babeland, bisexual, Brooklyn, condoms, dental dam, disneyland, dyke, erotic toys, erotica, girl on girl, gloves, grrl, hot, lbq, lesbian, LGBT, protection, Queer, safe sex, Sex, sexy, toys

Women, alllllways with the foosball

I don’t know if many of you frequent the LGBT friendly adult shop, Babeland. But, they recently announced that their Brooklyn location will now be delivering! I’m pretty sure this is the first time an erotic store ever decided to deliver their goods This is great news, especially for lesbians. Ermmm…you can draw your own conclusions why.

Anywho, in celebration of this momentous event. I’ve decided to share my sad tale of a night without a happy ending.

A long time ago in Brooklyn, way before Hot Femme was married, she lived in a tiny apartment at the edge of Park Slope. One night, she went on a date with a lady friend who decided she wanted to see the inside of Hot Femme’s…apartment. The only problem was…there was no protection at Hot Femme’s apartment! No dams, no gloves. So what are two hot young dykes to do? The girls went to three drug stores and one sex  store (who will remain nameless) and came up empty. So they got some ice cream and went to sleep instead.

The. End.

Condoms are sold everywhere, constantly, they probably sell them at Disneyland. But gloves and dams are much harder to come by. Guess who sells them? Babeland! Now no one has to pass on surprise sex because they don’t have gloves ready and waiting. Do you guys hear that? That’s the sound of safe girl-on-girl action in BK.

Happy Holidays From Hot Femme! Plus, Proof Santa is Real and in Brooklyn

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ambulance, Brooklyn, chanukah, Christmas, ems, gatos, hanukkah, Manhattan, NYC, Pied a terre, Santa

Happy Holidays lovelies! The Hot Femme household is an interfaith household. So let’s celebrate the holidays with this delightful Hanukkah Cat:

Holidays are better con gatos!

Now on to Christmas! You’re here to see if Santa is real or not right? Well BEHOLD Santa is not only real, but unlike Hot Femme, who spent Christmas Eve frantically wrapping gifts, Santa had time to get low. Obvs he is not a procrastinator. Does anyone else feel like the holidays surprise them every year, even though you should see them coming after 27 years on earth? Ooorr is it just me?

My sister was walking to the Subway in Brooklyn, so she could get to my Manhattan pied-à-terre and she caught Santa getting funky on top of an ambulance! He was surrounded by EMS, Cops and adorable children with their loving parents, of course.

Have a great Holiday and stay safe.

xoxoxo

The Femme

Am I Attracted To You Or Do I Want To Be You? #LesbianProblems

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advice, attraction, bisexual, bound, Brooklyn, corky, Dating, femme, friends, gina gershon, girls, in the club, Katherine Moennig, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Love, metropolitan, Queer, relationships, Sex, Shane, The L word, tough girls, violet

Are you a Violet who needs a Corky? Or do you want to be Corky?

I always talk about shaking up my look. I look like your average semi-corporate good girl. But lately I’ve been craving loads of black eyeliner, piercings and tattoos. Oh and possibly shaving a section of my waist-length hair. Just because.

I was at Brooklyn’s Metropolitan bar and all the women I thought were the most attractive were edgy…with loads of black eyeliner, piercings, tattoos and asymmetrical haircuts. “You like tough girls,” my friend pointed out. That’s  when I realized…I don’t know if I’m attracted to tough girls or if I want to BE a tough girl.

Do you want to feel Shane today or do you want to feel up Shane today? It's a pretty tough call.

It makes sense that people would be attracted to people who have qualities they admire. Some women are drawn to the man who is the life of the party or has a great sense of humor. But this is a more multi-layered problem for gays. Do you want to make out with the girl who’s the center of attention or do you want everyone’s eye on you? Do you want to make out with the girl in the gray knit cap or do you want to steal it when she takes it off and goes to the bathroom?

Here’s a quiz I’ve devised so you can figure out if you are genuinely into your crush or  if you want to jack her swag.

1. You look over at your crush, she’s talking to another girl. You think:

a. Oh man, the girl she’s talking to is super hot.

b. I’m soooo much cuter than that girl.

c. Threesome anyone?

2. You and your crush strike up a conversation, she keeps making you crack up. You think: 

a. I WISH I had jokes like that!

b. She’s so funny, she would write great vows for our wedding.

c. ZOMG, you’re so funny it’s making me take my top off.

3. Your crush is on the dance floor with her friends, you go over and: 

a. Challenge her to a dance off.

b. Use your smile to lure her over to you and then impress her with your dance moves.

c. Grind with her then turn around and do the Jersey Turnpike.

Do you think we're starting to look too much alike?

If you got mostly A’s: You’re a swacker! You want to be this girl, not date her. If you two dated, you would become that lesbian couple that dresses the same and starts looking the same and that’s just so weird. Just be friends with her okay?

Mostly B’s: Congrats! It’s a real crush. Now go out there and try not to bring a U-haul or a cat to the second date.

Mostly C’s: You’re kinda slutty. I like that, lez be friends.

Have any of you ever had this problem? Is it worse for lesbians? Do you think you can want to be like someone and still be genuinely into pursuing a relationship with them?

I’m Addicted to Getting Lucky

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Bath & Body Works, britney spears, Brooklyn, Candies, Curses, Dominican Republic, Latina, luck, Lucky, Lucky Pennies, Manhattan, Mark Jacobs, New York City, NYC, Puerto Rico, Shrimp, Twilight, Victoria's Secret

Fuck yea Abe Lincoln!

I believe in good luck charms, with all my heart. I swoop down on heads-up pennies in the grimy streets of New York City for my shot at a good day. Good luck pennies found in the morning, on my way to work are filled with the most unlocked potential.

Does that mean work is going to be extra special today? I ask the Cosmos.

Squeeee! Yea, duh! Cosmos replies back.

Srsly Ronald McDonald House is awesome

A lucky penny means walking a little higher in my heels, breath bated as I negotiate through the throng of cubicle dwellers, migrant workers and homeless people on my way to the office.  I even take my lucky pennies into McDonalds and put them in the donation bin for the Ronald McDonald House, cuz dreams.

What are you, some kind of moron? You are probably thinking to yourself. What kind of grown ass woman needs a lucky penny in the morning to put her in a good mood?

A stupid one. BUT, in my defense, the rumor in my old ‘hood in Brooklyn is that I was cursed.  I grew up…cursed. La Maldita. La fucking Maldita.

Being cursed is tough.

So, in the interest of full disclosure, a good luck penny in the morning isn’t where my lucky charm addiction starts.  I need to start with my lucky body lotion, Twilight Woods from Bath & Body Works. No, Twilight Woods is not associated with the Twilight books/movies, it’s just an incredibly smart marketing ploy by the Bath & Body Works marketing team. (A tip of the vadge to you, B&BW marketing team!) Why is this lotion lucky? Fuck if I know! I got a feeling from it when I passed it in the store and it makes me smell nice. Therefore, any day that starts without it will probably end with my demise.

SO IT IS WRITTEN.

Anywho, after my lucky rip-off vampire themed body lotion, I need to either put on Victoria’s Secret Love Spell body spray or Daisy by Mark Jacobs. Why are these scents lucky? Fuck if I know! I woke up one morning and decided they were. Love Spell is everyday lucky, Daisy is for days I need an extra pick me up.

I round out my luck routine with a beaded blue and purple anklet that a man gave me during a Spring Break trip to the Dominican Republic. I’m Puerto Rican, for those of you who don’t know PRs and DRs fight like cats and dogs. For some reason, I believe Cosmos has endowed my anklet with luck.

Even style news can hurt.

But bitches, despite my lucky routine lately my luck has sucked.  First, I walked into the middle of a fight between the vendors that (live?) work outside my subway stop. The lady that hands out AM New York (cuz she is a lady) lunged at the coupon guy right as I walked in between them. Awkward. Plus ouch.

The next morning, whilst running to the subway, I came upon a plump older woman (60s? 70s?) wearing a bathing suit and selling herself to a slightly out-of-it middle aged man. Sad and vomit is my favorite flavor in the morning.

Another morning my dress strap popped (NO I AM NOT GETTING FAT SHUT UP!) on a morning when I was running late for work. The next day, my heel broke. Not just any heel, my Candies Heel. The ones Britney Spears wore in her first Candies ads. That heel. It was the end of an era. I ran out at lunch and got replacement heels, that felt great in the store. But then they made me bleed. Like, ‘my shoe is filling with blood’ bleed.

Stop looking at her abs-look at her feet-those are the shoes

So I switched to flip flops. The next morning, be-flipped and heading to the subway, I stepped into a huge pile of shrimp shells that were mixed with some kind of crap and discarded on the sidewalk.

Even the cute ones can hurt me

I’m allergic to shrimp.

Long story short, I’m alive. Alive and scared. I haven’t lost faith in the power of inanimate objects to bestow protections upon me and my house, cuz stubborn optimism. I know my lucky charms are broken. I haven’t found a heads-up penny in at least a month. I need some new charms, otherwise I don’t know if I’m going to make it out of Manhattan alive.