Awkward Moments in Gay

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awkward, bisexual, gay, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, happy hour, Jackie Warner, Jillian Michaels, LA, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Queer, that awkward moment, that awkward moment when, trans, WeHo, West Hollywood, Work

That awkward moment when you can't decide if you want to take a picture or make out

As everyone knows from my Angry Times at the Smoothie Shop post, I can be pretty outspoken. I usually drop the L bomb (that’s lesbian, not love) on friends of friends, coworkers, strangers as quickly as possible to avoid any potential gay jokes or derogatory comments that might be forming in their brain. I don’t assume that all people are homophobic or not open to gay people, but I do know that some people make questionable comments about other groups of people if no members of that group are around. I don’t want anyone to end up with egg on their face and I also don’t want to have to go on some LGBT rights crusade at the bar, so I nip it in the bud before anyone feels awkward.

But sometimes awkward happens…and it always leaves me completely speechless. Let’s start with This One Time At A Bar. Okay, so This One Time At A Bar a friend of mine organized a large happy hour made up of her friends who didn’t know each other yet. It was fun!

Lez make some new friends!

One girl in the group mentioned that she used to live in LA. LA for me, means hot queer reality TV star trainers, Jillian Michaels and Jackie Warner. Both of whom are frequently spotted at the Grrl bars in WeHo.  “Omg,” I squealed, “I would Love to go to LA! I hear West Hollywood is awesome!”

The girl replied: “You don’t want to go to West Hollywood, that’s where all the gay people are.” 

This is where I tell her I’m gay right? And like, make a stand for all people and stuff. I don’t. Because for some reason I am struck totally dumb and mute by the awkwardness of the situation. Some kind soul decided to change the topic and the chance to be here and queer passed. If I wasn’t so slow, I probably would have said something liiiiike…

The Bad Ass Approach: Throw that gauntlet DOWN, girl!

Maybe...that's where the gay people go to get away from you?

Ooooorrrr, the Smart Ass Approach: Throw her some homophobia and see if she plays ball

Actually, I like to stand outside gay bars and protest, so that's perfect

Awkward also struck at work recently. My wife got me an almost obscenely large bouquet of long stemmed roses and had it delivered to my office. The next day I was on the elevator with another woman who remarked “Your husband must love you very much, to get you those.” Although I’ve corrected people in the past. I didn’t correct her, I’ve heard that particular girl be weird about trans issues before and I couldn’t handle the awkwardness.

The Smart Ass Approach

He sure does! That's cuz I give great BJs! If you want flowers, you should work on it.

The Truth

Women are more romantic

How do you handle awkward moments?

Interview with Jessica, Author of “Alone With Cats”

Tags

Allison Goldberg, Alone with Cats, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime, Blogs, Cats, comedy, Craigslist, Dating, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, humor, Interview, Jen Jamula, Jezebel, lesbian, LGBT, Lively Productions, Love, NYC, NYC Events, Overheard in New York, Players Loft Theater, Queer, relationships, Stage, Texts from last night, Theater

Now for something a little different. Hot Femme also writes for BGAlife.com, from a more journalistic angle. I loved this interview so it’s going on Hot Femme. I hope you enjoy!
Blogs: They’re not just for the internet anymore, bitches. Lively Productions is bringing their latest project to the stage in NYC, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime. Blogologues was conceived by Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula. They take popular online content verbatim, from sites such as Jezebel, Craigslist, Texts from Last Night, Damn You AutoCorrect, Overheard in New York, and launche it IRL.

Jessica of "Alone with Cats"

Luckily for the here and queer set, they’ve decided to take one of my fav 2-d lezzie blogs off the computer screen and into real life. Alone With Cats focuses on Jessica’s life with her two feline life partners, Teva and Isabel. She writes about her love life, dating, family, and her daily misadventures.

Jessica was nice enough to answer some of my burning questions about Alone With Cats and Blogologues. Read the riveting results below!

How did you get involved with Blogologues?

I checked my email one glorious night expecting to learn more about penis enlargement products and hear back from my Nigerian princess pen pal who desperately wants to give me $40 million dollars, but instead I received an email from Lively Productions co-creative directors Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula, asking permission to perform one of my blog posts in a new show called Blogologues. It was no promise of a foot-long dick, but still an intriguing offer. I traveled to New York City for the show, and it was awesome, but I was sure it would be a one-time thing. But they kept wanting to stage more of my writing, and shortly after collaborating with them for the third time, they invited me to join Lively Productions to help out with grant writing and PR. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a marriage proposal. I said “yes.”
Is it weird to watch live people on stage performing a blog entry that was meant to be read silently from a cold, dead computer screen?

It’s weird, in that the voice I hear in my head when I’m writing is my own. So to hear an actress reciting my words and to see her playing me, or a version of me, is kind of a trip. But it’s also pretty amazing to see something I’ve written being used in a way I never imagined it would be. And also, terrifying. I’m always worried that no one will laugh, or that I will single-handedly ruin the entire show. (It hasn’t happened yet, but give me time.) Then there’s the difference between reading blog comments and actually hearing a crowd’s response. Real-life laughs are much more life-affirming than LOLs.

Via http://livelyproductions.org/home/

Do they ever ask to change things or ask for your input? How much of collaboration is it?

They have in the past shortened a post for length, but otherwise, what I wrote is what you get. Part of the Blogologues shtick is that posts are performed verbatim from the internet. So it’s hands-off for me; they do all the heavy-lifting by transforming a blog post into a skit.

How long have you been blogging?

A little more than two years.

Why did you start your blog?

To impress girls. To get a book deal. Fame and fortune. You know, the usual. But also, I realized I hadn’t written anything in about five years. I’ve worked as a newspaper copy editor for most of the past decade, and although I love wielding a red pen and mercilessly judging people for their grammatical errors, I was totally neglecting my own writing. I missed it.

Teva & Isabelle via http://www.AlonewithCats.wordpress.com

The title of your blog is simultaneously a play on the hetero image of a single woman and the lez obsession with cats. Was that on purpose?

Yes, definitely on purpose, but also it’s very true to my life. I’m living the stereotype. I’m alone. I have cats. The name stems from a conversation I had with a friend, who was asking for dating advice. I gave her this long spiel about following your heart and blahblahloveblah, and then there was a pause, and I said she probably shouldn’t listen to anything I say ever because, “Hello, I’m alone with cats.” I started the blog a month or two later.

Your blog is a big hit with both heteros and gays, what makes you universal?

I joke that my blog is about winning at losing, but there’s truth to that. Failure is universal. I try to find the humor in often unfunny situations, and I think that resonates with people. I write candidly about love, sex, loneliness, the pursuit of happiness. And cats. A lot of cats. Those are topics that everyone can relate to. Except, obviously, dog people. I also share plenty of dating horrors and heartbreaks, and readers don’t seem to care whether I’m being dumped by men or women, so long as it makes for a good story.

Tell me something super gay about you.

My shoes. It’s my tell. Don’t let the long hair fool you.

Tell me something I missed that I should have asked here:

You forgot to ask about my feline life partners, Teva and Isabel. They feel slighted. But you can make it up to them with treats. [Ed. Note: ZOMG I suck so hard! How could I forget about the kitties?!]

Want to catch Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime? It’s playing from April 13 and goes through May 5 at the Players Loft theatre at 115 MacDougal St. There are 8pm and 10pm shows and you can get tickets here: OvationTix or call 866-811-4111. Tickets are $18 + a free drink! If you are a New Yorker, you will not want to miss this! I know I’ll be there.

For more Jessica, visit: http://alonewithcats.wordpress.com/