Ask the Femme: Do Lesbian Relationships Last?

Tags

advice, break up, cheaters, cheating, Chick-Fil-A, Dating, Drama, forever, gay, heartbreak, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Love, marriage, relationships, single, straight

It’s brutal honesty time, Hot Femme style. You asked, “do lesbian relationships last?”

Well yes, duh. But let’s get down to the deets. photo credit: Ara Lucia via photo pin cc

Dear Femme,

I’m an Asian lesbian in my 30′s and I’ve been single for almost a year. I can’t seem to find that special woman who I feel physically and emotionally attracted too and who feels the same about me. I was always in a relationship in my 20′s and felt the need to be intimate with someone but in my 30′s. I no longer need to fullfill that sexual need. I also find it harder as I get older to find a partner. I moved to another state for a partner I trusted. But she left me for a man who was her best friend and whom I also believed was my friend. I believe lesbian relationships don’t last and have begun to feel jaded. I don’t like to feel lonely and hate sleeping alone but can’t seem to find a woman that I can feel intimate attracted too and safe with. Please help, thanks.

Azn

Hi Azn,

Thanks for writing in! There is a lot going on here. You’ve had a bad experience and I’m sorry for that. You placed your trust in the wrong person, changed your life for her, she betrayed you and it sucks. But you need to move on.

Stern cat says, “Get over it or I’ll claw your face off.” That cat means business. photo credit: Mr. Ducke via photo pin cc

Being single for a year isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you; it’s not even that long to be single! It seems as though you have already starting thinking about your own needs and what you want from a partner. I’m going to suggest that you continue to learn about yourself and worry less about being single. Put finding love on hold for a little while, go out and have fun. Don’t stay home and feel sorry for yourself, join a gym, take cooking or art classes, drink your coffee at a café instead of at home. While you are out doing things and learning to love your own company, the right woman will come along. But you won’t meet her if you are at home hiding under the covers and crying over someone who didn’t deserve you.

No matter how cute you are, girls can’t bust into your bedroom and find you. photo credit: Helga Weber via photo pin cc

Also, you should keep in mind that just because your former love left you for a man, not all women will do that to you. Lesbian relationships aren’t doomed to failure. The Chick-Fil-A guy didn’t put some crazy curse on us that causes girl on girl relationships to fail…ermm…I hope he didn’t. Either way I’m sure it won’t work.

What I’m saying is, people change and there is going to be drama, betrayal, love, affection in any relationship, gay or straight. People of all orientations, genders, races, religions and political affiliations get their hearts broken and if they are lucky, they find their forever love.

Need help meeting women? Check out Lez Unite! What the video below for the scoop.

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Girls with Tattoos

Tags

Black and Blue Tattoo, Body Art, East Side Ink, gay, Hot girls with tattoos, Ink, inked, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, NYC, Queer, San Francisco, Tat, Tattoo, Tattoos, tumblr, White Rabbit

How hot are women with tattoos?

That’s a rhetorical question
(Image via pinuppeepshow)

I’ve always been crazy about ladies with ink. Luckily for me, most queer women seem to love getting them. Why are lesbians more likely to enjoy having strangers draw on them with indelible ink and sharp needles? Here are some hypothesis:

A) Girls who love girls are different, and we frequently choose to literally wear our uniqueness on our skin.

B) We are little sicko pervs who like the way it feels to get inked.

C) We are just awesome badasses.

Tattoos and dogs…it’s a grrl thing
(Image via fuck yeah girls with tatts)

I’ve wanted a tattoo for a few years now. But I’ve always been too scared of the pain and too unable to commit to any particular image. Until now.

I was so brave, you guys!

For any of you who are thinking of getting tattoo’s let me share with you what I’ve learned from this process. You know, the kind of things no one else is going to tell you.

Treat Your Body Like a Temple

You know how some women say, “I would never get a tattoo…why would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?” That drives me crazy, because it implies that all tattoos are just ink and not actual artwork. The best way to combat this is by getting a tattoo that means something to you and fits your aesthetic. Do your body  favor and DON’T just walk into any tattoo parlor. You deserve the best artist in the most kick ass shop in your town. Personally, I went to Kristi Walls at East Side Ink. For those of you in NYC, White Rabbit is also known for it’s amazing artistry. For West Coast queers, Black and Blue Tattoo in San Francisco is a woman owned shop that has a mostly gay clientele.

Make it Meaningful

A few people have told me that 28 is too old to get a first tattoo and well…they are kind of right. I waited until I was completely sure of what I wanted to get. My tattoo is a simple black rose with the 8 compass points rising from it, in the shape of thorns. I wanted the Rose because it’s my grandmother’s name, and my middle name, and let me tell you my grandma is awesome. The compass points are there to remind me to have more confidence that my decisions will lead me down the right paths in life. So I don’t regret waiting.

It Hurts

This is my “I’m not too comfortable right now” face

Okay, so it hurts. But it hurts less than people tell you it will. After awhile it also kind of feels good. When people warn you that tattoos can be addictive, the good part of the pain is what they are talking about. What ABSOLUTELY NO ONE tells you is that it hurts AFTER. Mine hurt for about two days afterward, it felt like an intense sunburn. It will itch too, like really bad. You can’t scratch it though, so if you can’t reach your tattoo you are going to have to ask a loved one to smack it.

Also, if you are scared of the pain part of getting tattooed, pick a place without a ton of bone or nerve endings, consider sticking with black ink and less shading.

YOU WILL SHED

LIKE A SNAKE IN MOLTING SEASON! Well, that’s me being dramatic. What your artist will tell you after you get the tattoo, but that no one will mention beforehand, is that your tattoo will peel like a sunburn. A gross, gross sunburn. It won’t be cute.

She looks great now, but when her arm was healing she probably stayed home watching Sex and the City reruns…BECAUSE SHE WAS MOLTING

Don’t Get Tattooed In the Summer

Because you can’t sunbathe or go swimming for TWO WEEKS! It totally blew.

Awkward Moments in Gay

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awkward, bisexual, gay, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, happy hour, Jackie Warner, Jillian Michaels, LA, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Queer, that awkward moment, that awkward moment when, trans, WeHo, West Hollywood, Work

That awkward moment when you can't decide if you want to take a picture or make out

As everyone knows from my Angry Times at the Smoothie Shop post, I can be pretty outspoken. I usually drop the L bomb (that’s lesbian, not love) on friends of friends, coworkers, strangers as quickly as possible to avoid any potential gay jokes or derogatory comments that might be forming in their brain. I don’t assume that all people are homophobic or not open to gay people, but I do know that some people make questionable comments about other groups of people if no members of that group are around. I don’t want anyone to end up with egg on their face and I also don’t want to have to go on some LGBT rights crusade at the bar, so I nip it in the bud before anyone feels awkward.

But sometimes awkward happens…and it always leaves me completely speechless. Let’s start with This One Time At A Bar. Okay, so This One Time At A Bar a friend of mine organized a large happy hour made up of her friends who didn’t know each other yet. It was fun!

Lez make some new friends!

One girl in the group mentioned that she used to live in LA. LA for me, means hot queer reality TV star trainers, Jillian Michaels and Jackie Warner. Both of whom are frequently spotted at the Grrl bars in WeHo.  “Omg,” I squealed, “I would Love to go to LA! I hear West Hollywood is awesome!”

The girl replied: “You don’t want to go to West Hollywood, that’s where all the gay people are.” 

This is where I tell her I’m gay right? And like, make a stand for all people and stuff. I don’t. Because for some reason I am struck totally dumb and mute by the awkwardness of the situation. Some kind soul decided to change the topic and the chance to be here and queer passed. If I wasn’t so slow, I probably would have said something liiiiike…

The Bad Ass Approach: Throw that gauntlet DOWN, girl!

Maybe...that's where the gay people go to get away from you?

Ooooorrrr, the Smart Ass Approach: Throw her some homophobia and see if she plays ball

Actually, I like to stand outside gay bars and protest, so that's perfect

Awkward also struck at work recently. My wife got me an almost obscenely large bouquet of long stemmed roses and had it delivered to my office. The next day I was on the elevator with another woman who remarked “Your husband must love you very much, to get you those.” Although I’ve corrected people in the past. I didn’t correct her, I’ve heard that particular girl be weird about trans issues before and I couldn’t handle the awkwardness.

The Smart Ass Approach

He sure does! That's cuz I give great BJs! If you want flowers, you should work on it.

The Truth

Women are more romantic

How do you handle awkward moments?

Blush For Eco-Concious Women Who Don’t Get Blush

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activism, animal testing, Beauty, Blush, charity, cruise, eco concious, girly, giving back, lbq, lesbians, Makeup, Queer, rainforest, superbowl, superbowl sunday, sweet, sweet cruises, tarte, volunteer, volunteering

Image via http://www.tartecosmetics.com

It’s Superbowl Sunday and TV is all in repeats, but it’s on and poppin’ at Hot Femme! Let’s keep girly weekend going. I’m clueless when it comes to blush. My previous attempts at blush have ended with me looking like an extra on Dallas. But, I found one ladies!

I’m in love with Tarte cheek stain, ‘tipsy’ is the color that looks the best on me. I try to keep my make-up subtle and ‘tipsy’ adds a subtle flush without making it look like I pile on my make-up every morning. It’s also incredibly easy to apply, just swipe right under the apples of your cheeks and up your cheekbone. Use your fingertips to blend up and voila, you’re all done.

Tarte cheek stains are also alcohol and oil free. It’s also a great choice for queer women because the company is pretty socially conscious. I know what you’re thinking “queer women aren’t more into saving the world than any other group of women! That’s a stereotype. Okay, we have a whole cruise line dedicated to LBQ women who want to go on cruises and save the world. Straight people don’t have that. Just sayin’

Do you have extra vacation days? Me too! Let's save the world and drink heavily! It's the lesbian way.

Tarte doesn’t test their products on animals, they use recycled casing materials and they are totally trying to save rainforests and junk.

What’s your fav blush? Share in the comments!

Sh*t Straight Girls Like: Merkin Edition

Tags

animal cruelty, feathers, fox fur, gay, lbq, lesbians, LGBT, merkin, Queer, real housewives of new york, straight girls, vajazzle, waxing

This is the least disgusting example I could find

Do you know what a merkin is? If you watched The L Word you do…remember that journalist or book reviewer who hated Jenny and then Jenny put her dog to sleep and dated her girlfriend or something? I don’t remember. To make a long story short- a merkin is a wig for your vag. Like if you don’t have any hair on it. Sooo there’s that.

I wasn’t clear on the point of a merkin until recently. I thought perhaps it was for practical reasons, like if your vag is cold or something. No one wants that part of their body to freeze off. It’s pretty important. But apparently the function of a merkin is decorative. Former Real Housewives of New York co-star Cindy Barshop owns a hair removal business that also provides vagazzling services. As the name implies, vajazzling is bedazzling for your vagina.

Vajazzling is something I can understand. I like sparkles and I like beaver. So put them together and great! Although it seems like rubbing on a body part that has rhinestones glued to it would irritate one’s skin…or tear it off, depending on the body part.

Let's save the scissoring for your next art project

…ouchies.

Interspecies hair is so hot right now

Anywho, the patrons of Cindy Barshop’s salon can now get the human hair waxed off their vag and have dyed pink fox hair or feathers glued onto their skin for the low, low price of 100 dollars! That’s an extra hundred on top of what you already paid to get waxed. Now you can get your animal cruelty fix while you actively throw your hard earned money down a rathole. I believe that’s what Oprah calls ‘multi-tasking.’ There’s a reason 20-something straight women are the demographic group most likely to file for bankruptcy. Because it’s not enough for them to get waxed anymore, not they also have to pay to add hair back ON once they take it off.

Next time anyone says that I’m ‘too pretty too be a lesbian’ or asks me ‘why do lesbians dress like men?’ I’m totally going to say “at least we don’t glue neon pink fox fur onto our vaginas!” and then storm off. Probably leaving a confused straight person in my wake.

Seriously, straight women, if you are reading this, just say no to merkins.

*This post is completely satire and not meant to offend any straight women. We all know the majority of women would never go for a product like this, and it’s ridiculous that anyone would consider marketing this to any woman, anywhere.

You’re Going to Have to Pay For That

Tags

bar, bouncer, club, cover, Dating, drinking, dyke bar, femme, friends, gay, girl bar, girls, grrl, Hot Girl, in the club, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Queer

Grabbing your friends ass probably won't get you into the grrl bar for free, but I'll be impressed

“Three for two discount?” My pretty straight friend purred to the bouncer outside NYC’s biggest dyke bar. “Nice try, sweetheart.” The bouncer replied. We forked over ten more dollars for the privilege of entry. Luckily for me, my straight friends are more than happy to pay the cover if it means they can drink and dance without men coming up to us every minute. They already know the drill, you’re not getting into the dyke bar for free.

At straight bars, I’m usually able to talk someone into letting me skip the line or the cover or both. At lesbian parties/bars I’ve gotten in for free once…ONCE!

Even she's only gotten in free once

There’s a few reasons for this. Lesbians tend to nest and stay home once they find their girlfriend. This gets even worse in the winter, when most of you just choose a girlfriend from the stable of girls you are currently dating specifically in order to avoid having to go out in a miniskirt when it’s cold. Yes, that’s a great reason to get into a relationship. Anywho, what this means is that the revenue for places that are lez bars 24/7 drops like your ex’s panties when she sees a girl with a lipring. Therefore, the prices for those of us who actually go are jacked up in order to keep the bar in business.

Basically, if we don’t pay the cover, NYC could end up like another major city (I’m looking at you Boston) that doesn’t have ANY 24/7 grrl bars. That would be a disaster. I’m sad just thinking about it.

No dyke bars? But where will I go to find my own kind?

The other reason is more irritating. Lesbians don’t care how cute you are. They really don’t. The bouncer knows that even if she turns you and your fabulous boobs away, there will be another great pair around the corner, who won’t complain about paying the cover.

I'll pay the cover...and make out with your girlfriend while your cheap butt is at home

The only way to get around paying covers or waiting on line is to become friends with the bouncer/bartender/owner. The owner of the bar, being the best option, so shoot for that one. I’m not talking like BS, shoot the breeze whenever you walk in kind of way. I’m not even talking in the dating kind of way. Dating any of the three people I mentioned is more likely to get you banned from the bar than in for free. You need to bring her soup when she’s sick, watch her dog when she goes on vacation and help her move when her girlfriend finds out about the chick with the faux hawk.

Yeah, this one

Is that worth it to skip paying the cover? Probably not. So we’ll just all keep paying, cuz lesbians are so awesome to party with that any cover would be worth it. Errmm…right?

Are Lesbians More Dramatic Than Straight Women?

Tags

Dating, Drama, Dyke Drama, friends, gay, Gay community, lesbians, LGBT, Queer, relationships, Sex, The L word

These are my thinking glasses. Glasses make you look smart.

I do a lot of gay things. I hit up dyke bars, watch queer movies, read lezzie blogs and I’m noticing a trend. There’s a lot of talk about “dyke drama” and “dramatic lesbians.” It makes me wonder- are lesbians more dramatic than straight women?

I would say no. I know I’m dramatic. My penchant for the dramatic stems from my being a writer not from my sexual orientation.

Here’s my theorem (mad fancy word right? Just call me Professor Hot Femme) on why there is a lot of drama in the lesbian community: because we all date each other. We aren’t crazier than any other group of people, but once hooking up and romantic emotions come into play, that’s going to lead to drama.

Think of a large group of straight people of mixed genders that are friends. Like, remember when you went to college and your whole dorm floor became lovers and friends? Then by senior year everyone had dated everyone else and thank god you were all graduating because no one could stand looking at each others faces anymore?

I'll be there for you...when you impregnate our mutual best friend! Lesbians don't have to worry about THAT.

Or, think of the TV show Friends. There were three straight men and three straight women and that fueled like, 10 years worth of drama. I’ve only seen a few episodes of that show, but I’ve seen enough to know that it might not be a compliment when people say I remind them of Phoebe.

My point is, there’s going to be just as much drama once sex and feelings get involved in any group of people. Lesbians aren’t inherently more dramatic. BUT it is harder for us to get away from the drama. The group from your college dorm probably dispersed after college. The world is smaller, they probably comment on each other’s Facebook statuses and meet up for drinks once in a blue.

Let me illustrate dyke drama for you with pictures. Jenny dates Carmen.

For lesbians, it’s much harder to escape the source of the drama because if you are in the same city, chances are you are hanging out in the same places as all the other lezzies. So the drama doesn’t disperse like it does for other people. You are going to see your ex at ladies night at Bar 13, because the drinks are cheap and it’s a nice change from your usual hang outs. You’re going to be with your new girlfriend and she’s going to be with hers and someone is going to want to scratch someone else’s eyes out. That’s not dyke drama, that’s forced by circumstance drama. If straight people in NYC had to go to the same 3 bars every weekend and the rest of us had the run of the city, you can bet “dyke drama” wouldn’t be part of our vernacular.

Then Carmen dates Jenny's BFF, Shane. Shane cheats on Carmen, Carmen cheats on Shane with Robin (Jenny's ex) and then Shane leaves Carmen at the alter...in CANADA. INTERNATIONAL DYKE DRAMA.

There’s also a more complicated part of being here and queer. We can potentially hook up with everyone we know. Let’s look at Friends again. There would be serious ramifications if Monica dated one of Rachel’s exes. That’s The Rule for straight women, you don’t date a friends ex. Meanwhile, in your group of friends anything goes. Your best friend can date your ex and if you live in a town with 5 lesbians and know them all, you are going to have to put a smile on your face and be happy for her. Because who else is she going to date? Stop being selfish, shellfish eater.

But, unless you are an unfeeling lesbian cyborg, you also can’t turn off your feelings and this will lead to DRAMA. It’s the nature of the girl-on-girl beast. Luckily, dating women and being friends with women who date women is awesome enough to make it all worth it.

Shane and Jenny date and the lesbian circle of drama is complete.

So complain about the drama all you want. But remember, if you were straight, the drama wouldn’t disappear.

So what do you think? Are lesbians more dramatic?

Bad Lesbian Halloween Costumes

Tags

bad halloween costumes, bisexual, breakup, catholic schoolgirl, costumes, Dating, drinking, femme, friends, Halloween, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Lilo, Lindsay Lohan, prisoner, Queer, relationships, Samantha Ronson, SamRo, Sex, sexy, Yoga Instructor

Remember how cute they were together?Not anymore. Totes dunzo.

I know, I know. There’s a lot of Halloween going on “up in this bitch” as the kids say. BUT, I can’t get enough Halloween. I have to say, Halloween is a great time to impress your crush with how hot/creative you are. I know some of you who thought my costume ideas were really inside the box (pun intended) have a few awesome, creative ideas for Halloween costumes. I’m sure they are going to be wunderbar but we need to talk about costumes that you should avoid wearing this Halloween.

Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson

Ok, the urge to dress like these two can be strong. Especially is you are coupled up. However, it’s better to avoid dressing as these two. First of all, they haven’t been happy together since like 2006, so it’s all a little dated. These days SamRo is quietly dating a yoga instructor and steering clear of Lindsay whenever possible. Lilo went all stalkerazzi on Sam and bought an apartment in the same complex as her and it was all embarrassing and weird. Which is kind of a downer. Meanwhile, Lindsay’s problems are getting worse and worse AND the media is treating her like public enemy number one for really no reason. Does anyone even remember what she did? Yes, she’s a trainwreck, but she also never hurt anyone and there are plenty of celebrities who have, who are jail free. (I’m looking at you Charlie “McDomestic Violence” Sheen) So let’s leave Lindsay alone. NEXT!

Prisoner

Sometimes, the difference between sexy and trashy is obvious. Exhibit A.

Chances are, if you a blond/redhead and dress up as a prisoner everyone is going to think you are Lindsay Lohan anyway. And we’ve already discussed the reasons that isn’t good. You also have two choices for this costume, either bright orange or black and white horizontal stripes. As everyone knows, horizontal stripes are hard to pull off. But let’s say you are hot enough to pull it off- horizontal stripes in black and white might make the drunk girl you are drunkenly chatting up dizzy enough for the night to end with you holding her hair back. That’s not sexy. And bright orange? That color looks good on maybe 10% of the population. Soooo just say no to crime or drugs or whatever.
Catholic Schoolgirl

I’m not going to front like this costume isn’t sexy. It’s crazy sexy! But, it’s not really for Halloween. It’s just been done to death. It’s

I know what you're thinking. "Ooo it lights up so maybe this one is different!" No, no it's not. There will still be hordes of Catholic Schoolgirls who look just like you.

dead and gone, dead and gone. Like the love between SamRo and Lilo. That’s sad. Save this costume for when you and your lady are looking to spice things up in the bedroom.

Tampon/MaxiPad/Skidmark

Believe it or not, these costumes happen. Frequently. I’m not even going to include a picture, but if you are really curious Google it. For those of you who wear these costumes, listen up! You aren’t funny, you just make everyone want to barf all the Halloween candy they scarfed. You lose. No girls for you.

If you were planning on wearing any of these costumes, return it and try again!

Sexy Lesbian Halloween Costumes For 2011

Tags

batman, boi, Catwoman, cheerleader, costumes, femme, football, grrl, Halloween, halloween costumes, harley quinn, Kendra, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, playboy, poison ivy, Queer, Sex, stud, superheroes

Halloween! It’s one of those holidays you either love, hate or love to hate or hate to love! It’s my favorite drunken holiday, so I think I’m in the hate to love category

This is how a femme can be a football player! (via http://www.3wishes.com)

. This year, I’m being a pirate. My past costumes include Xena, Princess Leia (gold bikini style), Scarlett O’Hara, Britney Spears (Puerto Rican style), a gypsy and a sailor.

Umm…sometimes I go wear more than one costume on Halloween. Anywho, I’ve got some great ideas as to what YOU should wear if you are here and queer this Halloween season. How did I pick these costumes? They’re the ones that I’d like to see you wearing.

Athlete

Some of us need to buy costumes for this and some of us can just wear what we wear out on the field. Softball player is one of my favorite costumes. It’s a good look and it works for femmes, studs and everything in between!

Not into softball? You can substitute any sport. I’ve seen a few really cute football costumes for femmes (see picture). I ALMOST went with this costume this year, but in the end I decided that requires too much ab work. If you are going as a couple- try football player and cheerleader or basketball player and stepper. This can also work for groups and you can even have someone dress up as the referee! Playboy does a really cute referee costume, modeled by reality star ( and rumored bisexual) Kendra.

Want her to call the shots? (via http://www.partycity.com)

Police Woman/Fire Fighter/Military Servicewoman

Who doesn’t love a woman in uniform! Police woman is always hot because of the handcuffs and a fire fighter has a huge hose. If you want to look hot AND celebrate the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, go as a member of our armed forces! Activists are always sexy. The plus with these costumes is that you can find variations with skirts, pants or shorts. So you can stay in your comfort zone and rock it out.

Stud? Boi? Femme? How can a costume exist that everyone can wear? Here it is! (via http://www.3wishes.com)

Gangsta

Lesbians love hats. This costume has a fedora. You love it, your girlfriend loves it, even your ex-girlfriend loves it but she’ll never tell YOU about it. She’s not gonna give you the satisfaction. Sorry! If you are a huge playa, this is the costume for you. Ladies love a bad girl.

You want this fedora. I know you do. Just admit it, girl. (via http://www.3wishes.com)

Superhero

Queer girls can kick ass. What better way to show that on Halloween than by dressing up as your favorite superhero! Wonderwoman is a classic and a great choice for raven haired ladies. Supergirl is good for blondes and Catwoman is good for EVERYBODY.

It can also be good for couples. Want to know my dream couple Halloween costume? Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn from Batman. As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, I’m going to be a pirate this year. What are you going as? Are you doing any cute couple/group themes? Let me know about it in the comments!

Who's going to dress up with me next year?! (via http://www.comicvine.com)

The Minority Report: Hair Uncut

Tags

bisexual, body image, coming out, Dating, femme, friends, girls, Hair, haircut, hairstyle, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Love, Queer, relationships, Sex

Do YOU think I look cray cray?

Have you ever had a moment when you realized you’re kind of insane? My moment came when I was watching back the first episode of my new webseries, “The Minority Report.” The webisode “stars” me and fellow blog-a-holic Cynthia, chatting about queer hair and what it means to our community in terms of visibility and hotness. I’ve been on camera before, I’ve done interviews with rock grrl band Hunter Valentine, various LGBT directors, actresses and comedians. The comedians are probably my favorite, they crack me up.

All these really required of me is to sit there, ask questions based on hours of bordering on obsessive research, listen to the answer and smile. It worked. It also cloaked me in the illusion of sanity. The Minority Report was my first time on camera not delivering a straight forward interview and next to my composed and thoughtful counterpart…I realized…that I’m a little out there.

Perhaps I should have been clued into this when my college sorority gave me the nickname “Quiet Riot” as in “You aren’t the loudest girl but everything you say is funny.” In sorority-land being “funny” isn’t a great thing. It’s much better to be skinny. It’s also better to be straight but I never got with that program either. I think I’m comfortable with my new found realization of the scope of my crazy.

Here’s the video so you can assess it for yourself:

Some reactions to this video have been:

1) Don’t cut your hair

2) You’re so stupid

3) You’re Quinn from Daria

4) Don’t cut your hair

What do you think of it? The next few episodes of The Minority Report feature a third “panelist” and is more like The View…but crazy. Like everything I’m even remotely involved in.

The Minority Report originally appeared here: http://bgalife.com/?p=1165 If you NEED more Natasia, you can check out my youtube page here: http://www.youtube.com/user/etane?feature=mhee