“How do you meet women in New York City?” That’s probably the question I get asked the most. There’s a perception that because New York is a huge city, it’s easier to meet people. The truth is, it can make it even harder. People already have a set circle of friends and breaking into a clique is rough, no matter where you are.
That’s why I want to introduce all my readers to LEZ Factor. If you’re a queer girl in NYC, chances are you have seen LEZ Factor everywhere lately, at the Pride Parade and in your friends’ Facebook feeds. LEZ Factor is the newest and easiest way to meet women in NYC. I sat down with LEZ Factor founder, Milly DuBouchet, to get the inside scoop.
Hot Femme: How did you come up with the idea for LEZ Factor? How long have you been around?
Milly Dubouchet: I’m in a loving, committed, long-term relationship – and I couldn’t be happier with life because of it. I guess I just wish everyone experienced the same type of love. That life-changing love. I figured I had to start somewhere, and I truly feel that a lot of women are missing out because they struggle with very fundamental social sticking points that keep them from attracting the right woman. Essentially, I’m helping women ultimately get to point Z by hand-holding them through points A, B, C, and beyond. We’ve been producing events for women since March 2011 but officially launched our coaching services in November of last year.
HF: How did you meet your partner?
MD: Delia and I met at Syracuse University during our undergraduate studies. We took an Economics class together. I wanted her the moment she walked into the lecture hall! We spent years in a flirtatious whirlwind and when it happened, boy did it happen! I’ve never looked back since. No matter how many women I was dating in college; no matter how many wanted access to my heart, it wasn’t possible. Delia already had it in a choke hold! lol Seven years later and she’s still my world.
HF: What makes you stand out from other dating services?
MD: LEZ Factor only caters to lesbian, bisexual, and bicurious women, so that sets us apart. It’s a “for us, by us” type of company. We’re also young, hip, and really big on dating with integrity. We encourage women to be their best selves and to challenge themselves to be the creators of their own romantic success. We’re not matchmakers and we’re sort of the antithesis of online dating! We’ll support you if you choose to date 5 women at once, so long as you place a high priority on being honest with all of them. A lot of folks put basic moral values on the back-burner while they navigate the single life, which can be really detrimental to their dating success. We place a strong emphasis on doing the right thing when we advise women, and I think that’s pretty unique in this day and age!
HF: You offer extensive “training” for your members. Why do you think it’s so much harder for queer women to make a connection and how do you think your advice differs from standard “pick-up artist” advice? (i.e. Mystery from VH1)
MD: While queer women share a lot of the same challenges that straight women do, we also have a few nuances that complicate things. Straight women generally expect men to make the first approach. For us, it’s not as black and white. We also have feminine presenting women who also date feminine presenting women. Their challenge is being perceived as straight because they don’t physically look like a stereotypical lesbian. I can go on and on! LEZ Factor takes these factors into account when advising women. The standard “pick-up artist” advice is generally male-geared and sex specific. Their objective is to get men laid – period! Our mission is a lot more humble than that. We truly care about empowering women to love themselves so that they can attract the women they want from the inside out.
HF: What is the most common mistake that you see more queer girls making when it comes to their social lives?
MD: One thing I’m noticing more and more of is the growing trend of online dating. Queer women are opting to date via the Internet as opposed to getting out and meeting some real, 3-dimensional ladies. Dating online is the perfect vehicle to construct perfectly worded profiles and messages but once you meet her offline, real-life challenges set in. I encourage women to get off of their computers and put themselves out there from time to time. It’s the only real way to grow socially.
HF: What are the three most important qualities that a woman can exude in order to land her lady?
MD: Confidence, authenticity, and a little bit of allure (among other things) can be a deadly combination! A woman who is unapologetic about who she is can be incredibly attractive – as long as she’s a good person, of course! At LEZ Factor, there’s also something we call the “SCALE of Magnetism.” It’s our secret formula for attracting women with little effort. You’ll have to attend one of our workshops for the scoop. 😉
HF: You’re Latina! I am too, do you think that Latinas face any specific challenges when it comes to dating that other women don’t?
MD: Well, I can personally attest to the fact that as a Latina, I’ve dealt with a ton of challenges when I came out to my family. Our culture is not exactly welcoming of all things queer, so I had a difficult time being accepted. It took them a really long time to come around. Once they came to terms with things, everything turned out great, but it was tough! Aside from the coming out process, I think Latinas deal with a lot of the same issues other women do when it comes to dating.
HF: LEZ Factor also hosts events, tell me about them.
We host bi-monthly mixers to give women a chance to meet other women in a more intimate setting. We create a structure for them to practice their social skills while they talk about women and dating. It’s not the typical mixer where women are given a name-tag and sent off to network on their own. We create ice-breakers, burning topics, and break-out groups so they know exactly what the topic of discussion is, exactly what group of women they’ll speak to and for how long, and we give out fun prizes. 75 to 100 women in a room – all talking about women at once – is incredibly dynamic. It’s like an after-work mixer on steroids! lol
HF: Tell me about your partnership with Babeland, an LGBT friendly sex positive retailer.
MD: Babeland is an awesome establishment. They loved our concept and have been incredibly supportive of us since the beginning. We reached out to them for sponsorship in the form of giveaways for our launch party and they went above and beyond to be helpful. We’ve established a wonderful relationship ever since, and even produced some events together recently. I look forward to working more closely with them as we continue to build our brand.
Interested in finding out more? Find LEZ Factor online at www.lezfactor.com
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