Interview with Drae Campbell of Prime: The Queer Party for Grown Folks

Tags

Brooklyn, Drae Campbell, gay, Interview, lesbian, LGBT, nightlife, NYC, Over 30, Parties, Pride, Prime, Queer

Head to Prime June 22nd!

It’s Pride season and it’s time to party! I’ve been getting a ton of questions from women in their 30’s about where they can go to meet and party with women their own age. Lovlies, I have an answer. It’s a queer party in Brooklyn called Prime and it’s run by former Ms. Lez Drae Campbell. In her own words, Prime is the queer party for grown folks. Specifically geared toward queers over 30 and the people who love them! Their pride party takes place this Saturday at Jack’s. I was lucky enough to get to sit down with Drae to get the inside track on how Prime came to be.

How did you brainstorm the vision behind Prime?

The vision for Prime is ever evolving. Basically I want to make a fun party that doesn’t treat older people as if they’re ‘old’.  Just because I’m over 30 doesn’t mean I want to stand around having important conversations or doing whatever is expected of my age. We all need to blow off steam and dance and laugh and feel awkward and hook up and whatever it is you do at a party. Just be social sometimes.

I’m inspired by other successful Brooklyn parties such as Yes Ma’am , Hey Queen and Azucar.  I’m also inspired by the queer community.

When it comes to 30 something’s, what are some of the obstacles to finding a place to meet new friends or potential partners?

I feel that nightlife is mostly geared toward young people. The parties that are geared toward older people are geared toward our professional lives. Our work is important but it can easily be mixed with our imaginative, fun side. It’s a facade that acting mature means you are mature. I often find it’s the opposite. Other obstacles are that lots of people over 30 are coupled up and feel that going to a party is for single people or young people.

How does Prime try to help smooth over some of the social challenges of being here, queer and over 30?

I’ve noticed that lots of people like to make jokes about Prime being the older peoples party, it starting early and lots of being old type jokes. I love that. I like that we can laugh at ourselves. It creates community within community as well.

A few Prime parties have featured queer performers. Is it important to you to help promote artists at the event?

Absolutely. I’m an entertainer and a performer myself, so i’m very interested in featuring performers and entertainers as part of the event.

We’ve had lots of burlesque at Prime, but we also had a performance from the hit musical ‘The Lesbian Love Octagon”,  we’ve had rapper Dio, ‘The Native American Gandih’, burlesque performer, Divina Gransparkle and for our Prime Pride party we will be playing the films of renowned photographer Katrina Del Mar on repeat while we dance.  AND, we will have free treats and vegan goodies from the new queer owned baked good co. , Mister Sister as well as $affordable homemade jello shots from Mizz June of June-O shots.  Love having all these self made women and queers offering their amazing talents. June 22nd is gonna be like some crazy amazing queer pride carnival. Can’t wait!

Also, we have one really special thing at Prime that you probably won’t find anywhere else.. It’s called ‘The Woo Corner’. Basically , there’s this amazing woman named Shaina who comes to the party and people line up and fight to see her. She does ‘unblockings’ and intuitive readings. She has an uncanny knack for reading people and helping them refocus.

Also,  it’s a great conversation starter and  taps into a lot of stuff you think about more seriously as you get older. She’s really great in matters of love, success, money. All that stuff. She’s helped me. She’s awesome.

I think the success of Prime has a lot to do with DJ Noa D. Noa is a great, creative, hard working DJ who knows how to vibe off the crowd. Noa plays the old stuff that we like and the hits that the kids love as well.  When Noa spins, people do not stop dancing. At our Pride party on June 22nd, we’re gonna have both NOA and DJ Shomi Noise. If you haven’t heard Shomi spin, come to this party.

Prime is held at Jack’s, for now. Is it hard to convince a straight venue to use space for queer party?

Jack is a theater and event space. Alec Duffy, who I know from the the theater world, is my contact. From what I can tell Alec and JACK are interested in making JACK a part of the community it is in be it queer, straight, what have you. They do a lot of amazing work and a couple other queer events.  I haven’t had any trouble at all.  Alec was very interested and open about making JACK a safe , queer space for Prime.

What are some of your most memorable Prime stories?

I had several people tell me they met someone or made a date or got a number at Prime. That’s the best. Other than that, whatever happens at Prime, stays at Prime. We are grown folks, after all.

Want to go to Prime? RSVP on their FB page

NYC Fringe Festival Reviews: “Hadrian’s Wall” and “June and Nancy”

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actors, Arts, coming out, Entertainment, Fringe Festival, gay, Hadrian's Wall, Hollywood, indie, June and Nancy, lesbian, LGBT, Love, NYC, NYC Fringe Festival, NYC Theater, Plays, Queer, relationships, reviews, Theater

Hot Femme, coming to a theater near you

The New York City Fringe Festival features almost two hundred different plays each August and showcases them at various theaters around the city. The plays are a great way to appreciate the glut of amazing talent that surrounds us. As well as explore new neighborhoods to get wastey-pants in, but I digress.

The two plays I went to this week were both queer themed (what a surprise!) The first one I want to talk about is “June and Nancy.” In this play, June, a 1950’s housewife and aspiring artist is stuck in a rut. She doesn’t want the “Happily Ever After” that other women her age want and she starts drinking as a way of coping. One day, she runs into the recently unemployed Nancy, a career woman who is struggling with sexism in the workplace in a time before “sexism” was even considered a problem.

To summarize the plot in this way, doesn’t do it justice. This play is more than the sum of it’s parts. It’s an exploration of fear and hope and the ways in which they can drive us to fulfill our desires or construct prisons of our own making. Michelle Ramoni plays the titular June, and she also is the playwright of this piece. She throws herself headlong into her world. She believes in this alternate plane of reality in a way that is infectious. She writes June and Nancy’s love story in a way that feels true. It will remind you of every time you have ever fallen in love. The surprise of the shared interests and passions are new and exciting for both Nancy and June and the audience. Gabrielle Maisels plays Nancy and she has incredible chemistry with Ramoni. One can tell Maisels is a seasoned actress in the way each of her movements is perfectly timed and measured, even when assisting in changing the scenery in between acts. She’s a joy to watch. Plus she takes her top off and as Nancy exclaims, her “breasts are perfect.”

The supporting cast, Jeffery Coyne as June’s husband and Peter Daniel Straus as Nancy’s BFF flesh out the cast. One gets the sense that the entire cast studied 50’s films in order to infuse their characters with the appropriate mannerisms of the time. If you only see one Fringe play, I would make this this one. I laughed, I cried and then went home and cried some more. Go to http://juneandnancy.com/ for showtimes and tickets.

I also saw “Hadrian’s Wall,” a play about an archeologist who has let her professional life crumble when she is investigated for stealing an important artifact from a potential digging site. Ramona is a shut-in, whose only contact with the outside world is a married ex-boyfriend, who is her best friend and also defending her in the investigation. Ramona’s life is turned upside down when a sexy grad student, Amy, delivers her library books and awakens her passion for archeology and hot, hot lesbian sex.

This play is at it’s best when it’s deep. When it delves into the motivations behind exes who stay friends and when it explores the depths of love scorned and the jealousy and destruction that it can wreck. It is also funny and sexy, with Rebecca White as Amy providing the dykey cheesecake. It’s also great to see a play that has a lesbian relationship, without being a traditional “coming out story.” I love a good coming out story, but it’s also nice to see queer women in stories that are about finding fulfillment outside of coming out. Like Hadrian’s Wall on Facebook to find out more about the cast and crew, as well as showtimes and tickets.

I’m shocked by how much I enjoyed both plays, especially since I’m not a big fan of sitting still and being quiet for an hour and a half. But I’ve been reminded that there are still artists with messages that are worth listening to. Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time and 20$ to go see another canned Hollywood remake. Go to the Fringe Festival and enjoy the sharp, imaginative writing and talented, non-botoxed, actors. There’s about a week of Fringe left, don’t let August pass without getting to at least one: http://www.fringenyc.org/

Girls with Tattoos

Tags

Black and Blue Tattoo, Body Art, East Side Ink, gay, Hot girls with tattoos, Ink, inked, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, NYC, Queer, San Francisco, Tat, Tattoo, Tattoos, tumblr, White Rabbit

How hot are women with tattoos?

That’s a rhetorical question
(Image via pinuppeepshow)

I’ve always been crazy about ladies with ink. Luckily for me, most queer women seem to love getting them. Why are lesbians more likely to enjoy having strangers draw on them with indelible ink and sharp needles? Here are some hypothesis:

A) Girls who love girls are different, and we frequently choose to literally wear our uniqueness on our skin.

B) We are little sicko pervs who like the way it feels to get inked.

C) We are just awesome badasses.

Tattoos and dogs…it’s a grrl thing
(Image via fuck yeah girls with tatts)

I’ve wanted a tattoo for a few years now. But I’ve always been too scared of the pain and too unable to commit to any particular image. Until now.

I was so brave, you guys!

For any of you who are thinking of getting tattoo’s let me share with you what I’ve learned from this process. You know, the kind of things no one else is going to tell you.

Treat Your Body Like a Temple

You know how some women say, “I would never get a tattoo…why would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?” That drives me crazy, because it implies that all tattoos are just ink and not actual artwork. The best way to combat this is by getting a tattoo that means something to you and fits your aesthetic. Do your body  favor and DON’T just walk into any tattoo parlor. You deserve the best artist in the most kick ass shop in your town. Personally, I went to Kristi Walls at East Side Ink. For those of you in NYC, White Rabbit is also known for it’s amazing artistry. For West Coast queers, Black and Blue Tattoo in San Francisco is a woman owned shop that has a mostly gay clientele.

Make it Meaningful

A few people have told me that 28 is too old to get a first tattoo and well…they are kind of right. I waited until I was completely sure of what I wanted to get. My tattoo is a simple black rose with the 8 compass points rising from it, in the shape of thorns. I wanted the Rose because it’s my grandmother’s name, and my middle name, and let me tell you my grandma is awesome. The compass points are there to remind me to have more confidence that my decisions will lead me down the right paths in life. So I don’t regret waiting.

It Hurts

This is my “I’m not too comfortable right now” face

Okay, so it hurts. But it hurts less than people tell you it will. After awhile it also kind of feels good. When people warn you that tattoos can be addictive, the good part of the pain is what they are talking about. What ABSOLUTELY NO ONE tells you is that it hurts AFTER. Mine hurt for about two days afterward, it felt like an intense sunburn. It will itch too, like really bad. You can’t scratch it though, so if you can’t reach your tattoo you are going to have to ask a loved one to smack it.

Also, if you are scared of the pain part of getting tattooed, pick a place without a ton of bone or nerve endings, consider sticking with black ink and less shading.

YOU WILL SHED

LIKE A SNAKE IN MOLTING SEASON! Well, that’s me being dramatic. What your artist will tell you after you get the tattoo, but that no one will mention beforehand, is that your tattoo will peel like a sunburn. A gross, gross sunburn. It won’t be cute.

She looks great now, but when her arm was healing she probably stayed home watching Sex and the City reruns…BECAUSE SHE WAS MOLTING

Don’t Get Tattooed In the Summer

Because you can’t sunbathe or go swimming for TWO WEEKS! It totally blew.

Interview with LEZ Factor Founder, Milly DuBouchet

Tags

bicurious, bisexual, boi, Dating, gay, lesbian, Lez, LEZ Factor, LGBT, Love, Meeting girls, NYC, Queer, relationships, Sex

“How do you meet women in New York City?” That’s probably the question I get asked the most. There’s a perception that because New York is a huge city, it’s easier to meet people. The truth is, it can make it even harder. People already have a set circle of friends and breaking into a clique is rough, no matter where you are.

LEZ Factor: Teaching Lesbians the Science of Chemistry
Photography by Lauren Marie Marsh http://www.laurenmariemarsh.com

That’s why I want to introduce all my readers to LEZ Factor. If you’re a queer girl in NYC, chances are you have seen LEZ Factor everywhere lately, at the Pride Parade and in your friends’ Facebook feeds. LEZ Factor is the newest and easiest way to meet women in NYC. I sat down with LEZ Factor founder, Milly DuBouchet, to get the inside scoop.

Hot Femme: How did you come up with the idea for LEZ Factor? How long have you been around?

Milly Dubouchet: I’m in a loving, committed, long-term relationship – and I couldn’t be happier with life because of it. I guess I just wish everyone experienced the same type of love. That life-changing love. I figured I had to start somewhere, and I truly feel that a lot of women are missing out because they struggle with very fundamental social sticking points that keep them from attracting the right woman. Essentially, I’m helping women ultimately get to point Z by hand-holding them through points A, B, C, and beyond. We’ve been producing events for women since March 2011 but officially launched our coaching services in November of last year.

HF: How did you meet your partner?

MD: Delia and I met at Syracuse University during our undergraduate studies. We took an Economics class together. I wanted her the moment she walked into the lecture hall! We spent years in a flirtatious whirlwind and when it happened, boy did it happen! I’ve never looked back since. No matter how many women I was dating in college; no matter how many wanted access to my heart, it wasn’t possible. Delia already had it in a choke hold! lol Seven years later and she’s still my world.

What’s better than going home with a hot girl? Going home with a hot girl and her girlfriend.

HF: What makes you stand out from other dating services?

MD: LEZ Factor only caters to lesbian, bisexual, and bicurious women, so that sets us apart. It’s a “for us, by us” type of company. We’re also young, hip, and really big on dating with integrity. We encourage women to be their best selves and to challenge themselves to be the creators of their own romantic success. We’re not matchmakers and we’re sort of the antithesis of online dating! We’ll support you if you choose to date 5 women at once, so long as you place a high priority on being honest with all of them. A lot of folks put basic moral values on the back-burner while they navigate the single life, which can be really detrimental to their dating success. We place a strong emphasis on doing the right thing when we advise women, and I think that’s pretty unique in this day and age!

HF: You offer extensive “training” for your members. Why do you think it’s so much harder for queer women to make a connection and how do you think your advice differs from standard “pick-up artist” advice? (i.e. Mystery from VH1)

MD: While queer women share a lot of the same challenges that straight women do, we also have a few nuances that complicate things. Straight women generally expect men to make the first approach. For us, it’s not as black and white. We also have feminine presenting women who also date feminine presenting women. Their challenge is being perceived as straight because they don’t physically look like a stereotypical lesbian. I can go on and on! LEZ Factor takes these factors into account when advising women. The standard “pick-up artist” advice is generally male-geared and sex specific. Their objective is to get men laid – period! Our mission is a lot more humble than that. We truly care about empowering women to love themselves so that they can attract the women they want from the inside out.

Milly wants hot women to wrap their legs around you. That’s sweet of her.

HF: What is the most common mistake that you see more queer girls making when it comes to their social lives?

MD: One thing I’m noticing more and more of is the growing trend of online dating. Queer women are opting to date via the Internet as opposed to getting out and meeting some real, 3-dimensional ladies. Dating online is the perfect vehicle to construct perfectly worded profiles and messages but once you meet her offline, real-life challenges set in. I encourage women to get off of their computers and put themselves out there from time to time. It’s the only real way to grow socially.

HF: What are the three most important qualities that a woman can exude in order to land her lady?

MD: Confidence, authenticity, and a little bit of allure (among other things) can be a deadly combination! A woman who is unapologetic about who she is can be incredibly attractive – as long as she’s a good person, of course! At LEZ Factor, there’s also something we call the “SCALE of Magnetism.” It’s our secret formula for attracting women with little effort. You’ll have to attend one of our workshops for the scoop. 😉

HF: You’re Latina! I am too, do you think that Latinas face any specific challenges when it comes to dating that other women don’t?

MD: Well, I can personally attest to the fact that as a Latina, I’ve dealt with a ton of challenges when I came out to my family. Our culture is not exactly welcoming of all things queer, so I had a difficult time being accepted. It took them a really long time to come around. Once they came to terms with things, everything turned out great, but it was tough! Aside from the coming out process, I think Latinas deal with a lot of the same issues other women do when it comes to dating.

Not ready for a relationship yet? LEZ Factor mixers are also a great way to make friends, that could become “more than friends” someday.

HF: LEZ Factor also hosts events, tell me about them.

We host bi-monthly mixers to give women a chance to meet other women in a more intimate setting. We create a structure for them to practice their social skills while they talk about women and dating. It’s not the typical mixer where women are given a name-tag and sent off to network on their own. We create ice-breakers, burning topics, and break-out groups so they know exactly what the topic of discussion is, exactly what group of women they’ll speak to and for how long, and we give out fun prizes. 75 to 100 women in a room – all talking about women at once – is incredibly dynamic. It’s like an after-work mixer on steroids! lol

HF: Tell me about your partnership with Babeland, an LGBT friendly sex positive retailer.

MD: Babeland is an awesome establishment. They loved our concept and have been incredibly supportive of us since the beginning. We reached out to them for sponsorship in the form of giveaways for our launch party and they went above and beyond to be helpful. We’ve established a wonderful relationship ever since, and even produced some events together recently. I look forward to working more closely with them as we continue to build our brand.

Interested in finding out more? Find LEZ Factor online at www.lezfactor.com

Keep up with them on:

Facebook

Twitter

Meetup

LinkedIn

Nothing Says ‘Pride’ Like the NYC Dyke March

Tags

boobs, dyke, Dyke March, Fifth Avenue, Frisco, gay, Gay community, gay love, Gay Pride, gay rights, GLBT, gogo dancers, hot girls, hot lesbians, June, Lesbian Avengers, lesbian community, lesbian mom, lezzie, LGBT, New York City, NYC, Pride, Pride Month, San Francisco, sexy lesbian, village, Washington Square park

Dyke March banners from years past, on display at NYC’s LGBT Center

I love Pride month. For me, the highlight of June is when half the lesbians in NYC march down Fifth Avenue. The NYC Dyke March isn’t nearly as well known as the Pride Parade. As most of you know, large cities each tend to have their own Pride parade in June. In New York, the Dyke March always happens the Saturday before the main June Pride event, the parade. I went to the march for the first time last year, before then I literally did not know it existed and I’ve lived here my whole life. I had to go back again this year. That was my last Pride activity as I spent NYC Pride traveling to San Francisco and subsequently missed Pride in both cities! Which totally blew, but it was an amazing way to end my June gaylebrations.

All that was left of Frisco pride by the time I got into town, sad face.

Didn’t make it to NYC Pride either? Check out one of my fav blogs,  Lame Adventures for a full report.

But I want to talk about the Dyke March, it’s been going on for twenty years, probably right under your nose and like me, you didn’t know about it. Basically, it’s awesome. I have to admit, I kind of like it more than Pride because it’s shorter and more like an old school activist rally than a parade.

These lesbians march!

It started in 1992, when lesbians started marching for visibility after the NYC public schools decided to cut out any mention of the lesbians in schools. So a bunch of lesbians started protesting and called themselves the Lesbian Avengers. Then, they started protesting for civil rights and to protest violence against the LGBT community after a gay man and a lesbian were burned alive in their home. The Lesbian Avengers staged protests where they literally ate fire to bring attention to the violence against us. Pretty heavy stuff, and if you want the entire story, check out their website. The work these women put into the movement twenty years ago is the reason so many of us can be out and proud today.

So to celebrate and promote our visibility we walk, sans a permit, from Bryant park to Washington Square park. Oh and did I mention some women choose to protest topless? Yes. Yes they do. While it is undeniably hot, it also sharply calls attention to the double standard of men being able to go topless while on women it’s considered indecent. In this manifestation, bare female chests look beautiful, natural and powerful.

And then the topless women jump into the big fountain in the park…and get all wet. Did your inner perv just say “schawing?” Mine did.

Washington Square Park in the Village, completely swarmed with lesbians! What LGBT event would be complete without overly priced rainbow merch merch for sale?

Queer girls playing in the fountain on a hot day

A lone topless marcher braves the middle of the fountain. Lezzie momma’s brought their kids, decked out in their finest rainbow attire!

If you haven’t gone, go next year. It is a beautiful thing to see, and you will be more moved than you think and feel more accepted for who you are than you ever have.
…and then go out and party, of course! This year I went to Siren, at the South Street Seaport, which of course, featured a mermaid theme and even more boobs!

My fav mermaid ever and the lucky grrl that got to dance with her!

Gay rights and boobs! June is the best month to be a queer girl in NYC.

Review of Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime

Tags

Alone with Cats, Autocorrect, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime, cat, Catching Fire, Cats, date, F U, Friday, Jezebel, Katniss, Katniss Everdeen, Lively Productions, Mockingjay, NYC, NYC Events, NYC Theater, parents, Players Loft Theater, Ryan Gosling, Stage, Suzanne Collins, Texts from last night, The Hunger Games, Theater, tweets, Weekend

Katniss...why are the odds never in your favor? WHY?

Like most 28 year old women, I spent most of this weekend curled up in bed, reading Mockingjay, the last book in The Hunger Games series whilst quietly sobbing.

But I did get out of the house long enough to go see Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime. The production, which you know if you read my interview with Jessica Schnall, the quirky lezzie blogger behind Alone…With Cats, features online content performed on stage as skits. It’s the kind of idea where you’re all like “why didn’t I think of that?” I totally wish I had because the show was awesome!

Awesome enough for me to allocate space for the program in my tiny Friday night party clutch. You know that's serious.

Taking funny online content and presenting it to an audience works because it takes the internet from a solitary place to a social place. Humans are social beings and humor is a social construct, so it makes perfect sense to take crazy Texts From Last Night and ridiculous tweets and read them to a room full of people. Somehow, it makes the experience more satisfying. Blogologues is able to crack up the entire audience just by projecting an imagine from F U, Autocorrect onto the screen.

It also helps to have a talented, energetic cast. The show starts Allison Goldberg, Jen Jamula, Dave Thomas Brown, Matthew Cox and Wendy Joy. I was particularly impressed with Goldberg, who managed to act out an entire blog post while running in place. Goldberg and Jamula conceived Blogologues and compiled the various featured online content with Cox. The variation of the tone and style of the blog posts is good for people with short attention spans ::cough cough:: I also liked that they included a gay lady blog and a piece on Ryan Gosling from Jezebel. Hellz yeah laydeez content.

It’s also pretty family friendly. Like, if you want to take your parents to the 8pm show and explain the internet to them through Blogologues you could. (Um, just make sure you’re cool with sitting next to them while someone sings a song about fucking outdoors) Or take a date to the 10 pm show. Blogologues runs until May 5th, so New Yorkers get on it. Click here for more info!

Interview with Jessica, Author of “Alone With Cats”

Tags

Allison Goldberg, Alone with Cats, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime, Blogs, Cats, comedy, Craigslist, Dating, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, humor, Interview, Jen Jamula, Jezebel, lesbian, LGBT, Lively Productions, Love, NYC, NYC Events, Overheard in New York, Players Loft Theater, Queer, relationships, Stage, Texts from last night, Theater

Now for something a little different. Hot Femme also writes for BGAlife.com, from a more journalistic angle. I loved this interview so it’s going on Hot Femme. I hope you enjoy!
Blogs: They’re not just for the internet anymore, bitches. Lively Productions is bringing their latest project to the stage in NYC, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime. Blogologues was conceived by Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula. They take popular online content verbatim, from sites such as Jezebel, Craigslist, Texts from Last Night, Damn You AutoCorrect, Overheard in New York, and launche it IRL.

Jessica of "Alone with Cats"

Luckily for the here and queer set, they’ve decided to take one of my fav 2-d lezzie blogs off the computer screen and into real life. Alone With Cats focuses on Jessica’s life with her two feline life partners, Teva and Isabel. She writes about her love life, dating, family, and her daily misadventures.

Jessica was nice enough to answer some of my burning questions about Alone With Cats and Blogologues. Read the riveting results below!

How did you get involved with Blogologues?

I checked my email one glorious night expecting to learn more about penis enlargement products and hear back from my Nigerian princess pen pal who desperately wants to give me $40 million dollars, but instead I received an email from Lively Productions co-creative directors Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula, asking permission to perform one of my blog posts in a new show called Blogologues. It was no promise of a foot-long dick, but still an intriguing offer. I traveled to New York City for the show, and it was awesome, but I was sure it would be a one-time thing. But they kept wanting to stage more of my writing, and shortly after collaborating with them for the third time, they invited me to join Lively Productions to help out with grant writing and PR. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a marriage proposal. I said “yes.”
Is it weird to watch live people on stage performing a blog entry that was meant to be read silently from a cold, dead computer screen?

It’s weird, in that the voice I hear in my head when I’m writing is my own. So to hear an actress reciting my words and to see her playing me, or a version of me, is kind of a trip. But it’s also pretty amazing to see something I’ve written being used in a way I never imagined it would be. And also, terrifying. I’m always worried that no one will laugh, or that I will single-handedly ruin the entire show. (It hasn’t happened yet, but give me time.) Then there’s the difference between reading blog comments and actually hearing a crowd’s response. Real-life laughs are much more life-affirming than LOLs.

Via http://livelyproductions.org/home/

Do they ever ask to change things or ask for your input? How much of collaboration is it?

They have in the past shortened a post for length, but otherwise, what I wrote is what you get. Part of the Blogologues shtick is that posts are performed verbatim from the internet. So it’s hands-off for me; they do all the heavy-lifting by transforming a blog post into a skit.

How long have you been blogging?

A little more than two years.

Why did you start your blog?

To impress girls. To get a book deal. Fame and fortune. You know, the usual. But also, I realized I hadn’t written anything in about five years. I’ve worked as a newspaper copy editor for most of the past decade, and although I love wielding a red pen and mercilessly judging people for their grammatical errors, I was totally neglecting my own writing. I missed it.

Teva & Isabelle via http://www.AlonewithCats.wordpress.com

The title of your blog is simultaneously a play on the hetero image of a single woman and the lez obsession with cats. Was that on purpose?

Yes, definitely on purpose, but also it’s very true to my life. I’m living the stereotype. I’m alone. I have cats. The name stems from a conversation I had with a friend, who was asking for dating advice. I gave her this long spiel about following your heart and blahblahloveblah, and then there was a pause, and I said she probably shouldn’t listen to anything I say ever because, “Hello, I’m alone with cats.” I started the blog a month or two later.

Your blog is a big hit with both heteros and gays, what makes you universal?

I joke that my blog is about winning at losing, but there’s truth to that. Failure is universal. I try to find the humor in often unfunny situations, and I think that resonates with people. I write candidly about love, sex, loneliness, the pursuit of happiness. And cats. A lot of cats. Those are topics that everyone can relate to. Except, obviously, dog people. I also share plenty of dating horrors and heartbreaks, and readers don’t seem to care whether I’m being dumped by men or women, so long as it makes for a good story.

Tell me something super gay about you.

My shoes. It’s my tell. Don’t let the long hair fool you.

Tell me something I missed that I should have asked here:

You forgot to ask about my feline life partners, Teva and Isabel. They feel slighted. But you can make it up to them with treats. [Ed. Note: ZOMG I suck so hard! How could I forget about the kitties?!]

Want to catch Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime? It’s playing from April 13 and goes through May 5 at the Players Loft theatre at 115 MacDougal St. There are 8pm and 10pm shows and you can get tickets here: OvationTix or call 866-811-4111. Tickets are $18 + a free drink! If you are a New Yorker, you will not want to miss this! I know I’ll be there.

For more Jessica, visit: http://alonewithcats.wordpress.com/

Happy Holidays From Hot Femme! Plus, Proof Santa is Real and in Brooklyn

Tags

ambulance, Brooklyn, chanukah, Christmas, ems, gatos, hanukkah, Manhattan, NYC, Pied a terre, Santa

Happy Holidays lovelies! The Hot Femme household is an interfaith household. So let’s celebrate the holidays with this delightful Hanukkah Cat:

Holidays are better con gatos!

Now on to Christmas! You’re here to see if Santa is real or not right? Well BEHOLD Santa is not only real, but unlike Hot Femme, who spent Christmas Eve frantically wrapping gifts, Santa had time to get low. Obvs he is not a procrastinator. Does anyone else feel like the holidays surprise them every year, even though you should see them coming after 27 years on earth? Ooorr is it just me?

My sister was walking to the Subway in Brooklyn, so she could get to my Manhattan pied-à-terre and she caught Santa getting funky on top of an ambulance! He was surrounded by EMS, Cops and adorable children with their loving parents, of course.

Have a great Holiday and stay safe.

xoxoxo

The Femme

Does This Make Me Look Like a Lesbian?

Tags

Burberry, Celebrities, Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Lately, DKNY, E!, Fashion Police, Fashion's Night Out, hugh grant, jewel, lesbian, LGBT, NYC, NYC Fashion Week, Patricia Field, Peter Som, Queer, Sex and the City, Sporty Spice, Thakoon, Ugly Betty

You thought Sporty Spice was a lesbian didn't you? We don't all wear wallet chains, wrist cuffs and have tribal tattoos! Ok, well...some of us don't.

Last week was Fashion’s Night Out in NYC. As I strolled Burberry with a glass of citrusy champagne in my hand, looking for the next tray of appetizers, I realized I was surrounded on all sides by straight women and gay men. Particularly of interest was one gay man in a spiky leather jacket that could take my eye out. I enjoy the gift of sight, so I scurried away.

The whole night got me thinking about the invisibility of gay women in the fashion industry in general, despite the fact that Patricia Field is arguably the most famous stylist in the world. While fashionistas know that she is the stylist for Sex and the City and Ugly Betty, fewer of them know that she’s a lesbian. Comedian Chelsea Handler also has a lesbian stylist on her super popular show “Chelsea Lately.” Despite this, lesbians aren’t exactly synonymous with fashion. Jokes about lesbian’s bad fashion sense are everywhere in the media and on the internet (I’m looking at you, every man on E!’s ‘Fashion Police’) The basic gist of these jokes are:

• We wear plaid/flannel.
• We look like men (as if there is anything wrong with that. Hi Rachel, I heart you)
• We wear ugly, comfortable shoes. (Just ask country singer Jewel, who wears “lesbian shoes” while not performing)
• We don’t wear make-up. (Hugh Grant thinks he looks like an old lesbian!)
• We don’t have curves.

Even for people who don’t make jokes, if someone asks you “does this make me look like a lesbian?” We all know what that means and it’s not good. So, lesbians don’t get fashion right all the time. But neither does anyone else. Maybe the question we ask ourselves shouldn’t be “Does this make me look gay?” but “Does this make me look stupid?” Let’s take a look at some of this year’s fashions.

Por example, Burberry things you should wear a skunk on your head this fall/winter.

Skunk or beaver? If it's beaver, than you would look like a lesbian.

DKNY has decided that Spring 2012 is going to the dogs…because even a color blind laborador retriever will see these red and blue floral shorts…and matching bikini top…and matching hat…and jacket…and shoes.

Curb your dog

Peter Som and Thakoon want you to embrace plaid and teflon this winter.

Non-stick all the way, baby!

I may not understand fashion, but I do understand not looking like a nut job. And isn’t that the most important fashion rule of all?

Femme on Femme Invisibility

Tags

Bangs, Bush, Clint Eastwood, Dating, Dirty Harry, drinking, femme, friends, girls, Hot Girl, in the club, lesbian, LGBT, NYC, Queer, Seventies, Stereotypes, T.A.T.U.

Hello Kitty or Lesbo Kitty?

Last night, a young lady in daisy dukes and long straight hair to her waist held the elevator door at my apartment complex for me. She also pushed the button for my floor. So chivalrous, right? “Thanks!” I chirped. Anyone holding an elevator door is a rarity in NYC. Usually, they point and laugh as the doors close on you. We take our schadenfreude veeerrrrry seriously here.

Do you guys hold the door for straight women and they never say thank you? That’s why I don’t hold doors for them anymore. Also: the one with the juice box is the gay one. I just know.

Instead of “You’re welcome” she blurted out, “YOU’RE REALLY PRETTY!”

WHO ME? No way! We struck up a convo and around the 30^th floor, I complimented her and she gave me a goofy grinny face…the same kind I give when I’m smitten with someone I just met. Oh. That’s a surprise.

I had encountered a baby femme. A freakin’ ballsy baby femme, who reminds me of myself 6 years ago, before I became an old married lady and I totally femme invisibility-ed out on her! For those of you who don’t know, femme invisibility is the term used to describe queer women who feel unrecognized by both the gay & straight communities. I frequently blame femme invisibility on the fact that straight people don’t think about gay, it’s not something that’s ‘top of consciousness’ for them. So of course they will ask me if I have a boyfriend, even if I’ve mentioned my partner multiple times. They don’t think in “queer.”

But this is different. I’m a huge gay blogging gaymo. I can recognize other femmes if I’m in a queer settings. I.e. a dyke bar, Gay-Straight Alliance organization, LGBT volunteer event, queer themed art event. But outside of those situations, not so much. So I’m left with this question: If femme’s can’t recognize other femme’s, how can we hope for anyone else to recognize us?

Nope. Not actually gay.

I don’t know the answer. But I’m going to take a lesson from the baby femme I met last night and pass it on to you guys. If you think a girl is hot, just tell her and see what happens. I think this could be a revolutionary first step to eradicating femme invisibility.

On a completely unrelated note, I saw the Clint Eastwood 70’s classic “Dirty Harry” in Bryant Park yesterday. It had 70’s music, 70’s clothing and um…70’s bush on the BIG SCREEN. You know what? It wasn’t bad. Retro is really hot right now. The movie was cool too.

Bush in the Park