Last Saturday night Cleveland dyke band 11 After was performing in my hood. So I meandered on over to drink and listen to some grrl-band music. After a long week at work, it’s nice to kick back and listen to some grrls rock out.
It got emotional.
My favorite song was an 11 After original Psycho Psycho. It reminded me of someone. Yeah, that chick was a total psycho! Amirite?! She was obsessed with me because I’m the effing shiz. High five bra! Half a vodka tonic I realized it would probably remind someone else of me. Actually, I know exactly who it would remind of me. Sobering thought. Need more alcohol.
When 11After’s frontlez starting wailing a kickass version of Chris Isaak’s Wicked Games, I might have
passionately yelled, “It was a wicked thing to do! God it was so wicked.” before clutching someone’s shoulder and wondering if tears would be too over the top. Then I noticed that one of the 11 After girls was unzipping her pants and lifting up her shirt. Crisis averted…this time.
There are some songs that are going to trigger beer tears over an ex. Let’s take a stroll down ‘Suck it Romance’ lane and look at some of my favorite lesbian break up songs.
“Give Me One Reason”- Tracy Chapman
Give me one reason to stay here/ And I’ll turn right back around/Because I don’t want to leave you lonely but you gotta make me change my mind.
This song means: I don’t want to break up with you but you never call me and are sleeping with my best friend/ex-girlfriend/boss/mom. So unless you stop we can’t work it out. You are pretending to break up with the other person in order to save the shreds of dignity you have left, but at the end of the day we all know what’s happening. Ouchies. Lie to yourself enough and you’ll survive.
“Like the Way I Do”- Melissa Etheridge
Tell me does she love you/like the way I love you/Does she stimulate you/Attract and captivate you?
Why will this song make you cry into your mic on lesbian karaoke night? Because it’ll make you think “I’M SO MUCH BETTER THAN HER WHY DO YOU LIKE HER MORE OH GOD WHO WANTS TO DO SOME SHOTS?” Ladies, let me tell you, the shots will make things worse not better. Now take a breath.
“Rolling in the Deep”- Adele
The scars of your love remind me of us/They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. You had my heart inside of your hand/And you played it to the beat.
Technically Adele isn’t a lesbian, but she still gets to be on this list cuz it’s my list and my rules. This song will make you think of the girl who who painted rainbows onto your heart and promised to love
you forever…but then she decided to hook up with the chick on her football team instead. That one. You can’t even get away from this song because of it’s awesome club remix. Nice. There is no way to stop the tears this time. Go outside and bum a smoke off someone sexy before your mascara runs.
“She Only Loves Me When She’s Wasted”- Hunter Valentine
The title of this song speaks for itself. You know that ‘relationship’ you had with that straight girl? Yeah. She’s not really your girlfriend. You know that but this song hammers it home. You watch your queer girlfriends make out with their queer girlfriends and effffff. Here come the tears. You’re never going to really have her! This blows! Just like the str8 chick. Man up and make out with the hot single lez with the wallet chain and vow never to touch a str8 woman again.
Speaking of straight chicks. During the 11 After show, a straight girl slipped me her wiener while her date was in the bathroom. She was a comedian who likes to drive vans that look like wieners.
Do you have any songs that remind you of your ex? Leave them in the comments!