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Women make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes?! F U!

I’m an unabashed feminist. I will walk up to the most woman-hating, misogynist in the world and look in his eye and tell him to eff off because I’m a feminist. The only problem is um…maybe sometimes I’m way to excited to tell that guy to eff off. Most women, even among the most progressive, have stopped using the term “feminist” because it brings to mind, unfairly, someone unattractive who hates men. Using that term almost gives people a free pass to write you off. But I’m not scared to be that person. As I said before, I’m too eager to be that person. So, to make a stupid story short let’s get into it. I walk into my favorite smoothie shop.

This is what I look like on my way to get my smoothie. It's a pretty exciting part of my day.

When I get there, I get in line and notice that there are a few new additions to the menu. My eye stops on the new “MEGA MUSCLE XXL BULK-UP TIMES*” smoothie that screams “JUST FOR MEN!” in the description. All of a sudden, I’m so angry I’m blind. My internal monologue starts sputtering righteous indignation:

WHY DON’T THEY HAVE ONE FOR WOMEN?!

WOULD THEY EVEN LET ME ORDER A SMOOTHIE FOR A MAN?! I SHOULD JUST WALK UP AND DEMAND IT! I DON’T CARE IF THEY SAY I CAN’T DRINK IT BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN. WHAT IF I WAS TRANS IN ANY WAY?! FTM OR MTF, I DON’T CARE WOULD THEY LET ME ORDER IT THEN? THAT’S WHAT I’LL TELL THEM IF THEY DARE QUESTION ME!

With a plan in mind, I calm down enough to regain my sight. I glance back at the menu and see that they offer one smoothie just for men and two just for women.

Oops.

Sorry Everyone! No misogyny here! Keep movin!

 

*Names of smoothies have been changes to protect the innocent, non-discriminatory chain store.

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