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Hot Femme in the City

~ Just a girl, writing about girls in NYC

Hot Femme in the City

Monthly Archives: April 2012

The Minority Report: Are You Ok With Your BFF Dating Your Ex?

29 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Am I a jerk?, Ask the Femme, Dating, Relationships, The Minority Report

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

advice, best friend, best friends, bff, bisexual, Dating, ex, ex gf, ex-girlfriend, exes, gay, lesbian, lesbian dating, lesbian love, lesbian sex, Love, Queer, relationships, Sex, sex with your bestfriend

The lesbian community is small so we all date each other. You can’t get always get away from your exes after a painful break-up and sometimes they can’t keep their hands off your best friend. It makes sense, if she liked you, chances are she like someone who you have a lot in common with. What do you do? Do you let them be happy or do you cry at the dyke bar? I think it depends on the circumstances. Watch for more and let me know what you think in the comments!

If you are in NYC and would like to be in the Minority Report, shoot me a Facebook message!

Glittery Glazes: Spring 2012 Nail Polish Trend

27 Friday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Beauty

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Angel Food, Beauty, Bling, China Glaze, Effie Trinket, Essie, Fashion, Glitter, nail polish, nails, OPI, sparkle, spring 2012, The Capitol, The Hunger Games, top coat, trends, Zoya

Colors of the Capitol: Luxe & Lush by China Glaze. Image via http://www.amazon.com

Happy Friday, lovelies! I’m feeling kinda girly today. So let’s get serious, let’s talk nail polish.Bright colors, glimmer and shine are in for nails this season. I love anything that sparkles and more brands then ever are offering ways for you to bring the bling. China Glaze released a line of nail polishes inspired by The Hunger Games. If you want to go full on diva, Effie Trinket style, coat your nails in Luxe and Lush.

Essie and Zoya are offering sparkling top coats to provide a more demure, transparent look. Zoya offers a green topcoat, green being one of this season’s break out colors. But I prefer Chloe, a pretty, sparkly pink. Because I’m a professional lady, I wanted to find a way to rock this trend while still looking like an adult. I settled on the Pearl Pearlification topcoat by Essie.

Pure Pearlification by Essie

I plan on layering this over a more neutral hue like the classic Angel Food or OPI’s Planks a Lot. Any color that won’t steal the spotlight from the topcoat will work.

Are you planning on rocking glittery nail this spring?

Planks a Lot and Angel Food

Ask the Femme: Should I Let My Girlfriend Have a Boyfriend?

24 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Ask the Femme, Dating, Relationships

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

advice, bisexual, boyfriend, Dating, gay, girlfriend, lesbian, LGBT, Love, polyamorous relationships, polyamory, Queer, relationship, relationship advice, relationships, Sex

girls in the therapeutic bed Pictures, Images and Photos

Are you good at sharing?

Hey cutie pies, it’s time to Ask the Femme! One of my readers is having trouble deciding whether or not to let her girlfriend date a man at the same time. For some of us this is an easy answer. But there are a ton of nuances in the spectrum of relationships. So let’s do this on a case by case basis.

Dear Femme,

I am dating a woman but she wants children too. She wants to start a relationship with a man and I was upset about that. If she starts this relationship, I’m afraid she would leave me for him. But I noticed she really enjoys the things I do for her in and outside the bedroom. I’m not sure what I should do. Do I tell her no or go along with it?

Maybe Poly?

Thanks for writing in, MP! The best thing for you to do in this situation is sit down and have an honest discussion with your girlfriend. I’m sure you both know it is possible to have a child with another woman, all it takes is a sperm bank. So her reasoning for wanting to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend is a weak excuse. It could be that she wants to have her cake and eat it too, by dating you but having a boyfriend at the same time. She could genuinely want to explore the world of polyamory. Or she could be testing you. She might want you to step up and tell her that she is important to you and you want to be monogamous with her. The point is, you won’t know the answer to any of these questions unless you ask.

So talk to her, find out what her reasoning is once you take baby talk out of the picture. Then tell her about your needs in a relationship. If you would only be ok with her dating a man because you are scared she will leave you and not because you are truly okay with it, than tell her she can either be with you or she can have a boyfriend, but she can’t have both because that’s not what YOU want. Stand up for yourself, you need to make sure that you are in a relationship that works for you. Life is too short to spend it with someone who is going to make you unhappy or take advantage of you for what you can do in the bedroom and outside of it. If she refuses to give up her dream of have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, dump her and find someone who only wants you. Good luck MP and let us know how it goes!

Have a question for Hot Femme? Send me a Facebook message!

Awkward Moments in Gay

17 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Am I a jerk?, Coming Out, Social Disease

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

awkward, bisexual, gay, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, happy hour, Jackie Warner, Jillian Michaels, LA, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Queer, that awkward moment, that awkward moment when, trans, WeHo, West Hollywood, Work

really awkward moments Pictures, Images and Photos

That awkward moment when you can't decide if you want to take a picture or make out

As everyone knows from my Angry Times at the Smoothie Shop post, I can be pretty outspoken. I usually drop the L bomb (that’s lesbian, not love) on friends of friends, coworkers, strangers as quickly as possible to avoid any potential gay jokes or derogatory comments that might be forming in their brain. I don’t assume that all people are homophobic or not open to gay people, but I do know that some people make questionable comments about other groups of people if no members of that group are around. I don’t want anyone to end up with egg on their face and I also don’t want to have to go on some LGBT rights crusade at the bar, so I nip it in the bud before anyone feels awkward.

But sometimes awkward happens…and it always leaves me completely speechless. Let’s start with This One Time At A Bar. Okay, so This One Time At A Bar a friend of mine organized a large happy hour made up of her friends who didn’t know each other yet. It was fun!

Birthday Party >:] Pictures, Images and Photos

Lez make some new friends!

One girl in the group mentioned that she used to live in LA. LA for me, means hot queer reality TV star trainers, Jillian Michaels and Jackie Warner. Both of whom are frequently spotted at the Grrl bars in WeHo.  “Omg,” I squealed, “I would Love to go to LA! I hear West Hollywood is awesome!”

The girl replied: “You don’t want to go to West Hollywood, that’s where all the gay people are.” 

This is where I tell her I’m gay right? And like, make a stand for all people and stuff. I don’t. Because for some reason I am struck totally dumb and mute by the awkwardness of the situation. Some kind soul decided to change the topic and the chance to be here and queer passed. If I wasn’t so slow, I probably would have said something liiiiike…

The Bad Ass Approach: Throw that gauntlet DOWN, girl!

thinking in blood Pictures, Images and Photos

Maybe...that's where the gay people go to get away from you?

Ooooorrrr, the Smart Ass Approach: Throw her some homophobia and see if she plays ball

Protest for the unethical use of Horses in Central Park Pictures, Images and Photos

Actually, I like to stand outside gay bars and protest, so that's perfect

Awkward also struck at work recently. My wife got me an almost obscenely large bouquet of long stemmed roses and had it delivered to my office. The next day I was on the elevator with another woman who remarked “Your husband must love you very much, to get you those.” Although I’ve corrected people in the past. I didn’t correct her, I’ve heard that particular girl be weird about trans issues before and I couldn’t handle the awkwardness.

The Smart Ass Approach

Miss Manderz Makeshift Pictures, Images and Photos

He sure does! That's cuz I give great BJs! If you want flowers, you should work on it.

The Truth

girls kissing Pictures, Images and Photos

Women are more romantic

How do you handle awkward moments?

Review of Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime

15 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Am I a jerk?, Social Disease

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Alone with Cats, Autocorrect, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime, cat, Catching Fire, Cats, date, F U, Friday, Jezebel, Katniss, Katniss Everdeen, Lively Productions, Mockingjay, NYC, NYC Events, NYC Theater, parents, Players Loft Theater, Ryan Gosling, Stage, Suzanne Collins, Texts from last night, The Hunger Games, Theater, tweets, Weekend

Katniss...why are the odds never in your favor? WHY?

Like most 28 year old women, I spent most of this weekend curled up in bed, reading Mockingjay, the last book in The Hunger Games series whilst quietly sobbing.

But I did get out of the house long enough to go see Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime. The production, which you know if you read my interview with Jessica Schnall, the quirky lezzie blogger behind Alone…With Cats, features online content performed on stage as skits. It’s the kind of idea where you’re all like “why didn’t I think of that?” I totally wish I had because the show was awesome!

Awesome enough for me to allocate space for the program in my tiny Friday night party clutch. You know that's serious.

Taking funny online content and presenting it to an audience works because it takes the internet from a solitary place to a social place. Humans are social beings and humor is a social construct, so it makes perfect sense to take crazy Texts From Last Night and ridiculous tweets and read them to a room full of people. Somehow, it makes the experience more satisfying. Blogologues is able to crack up the entire audience just by projecting an imagine from F U, Autocorrect onto the screen.

It also helps to have a talented, energetic cast. The show starts Allison Goldberg, Jen Jamula, Dave Thomas Brown, Matthew Cox and Wendy Joy. I was particularly impressed with Goldberg, who managed to act out an entire blog post while running in place. Goldberg and Jamula conceived Blogologues and compiled the various featured online content with Cox. The variation of the tone and style of the blog posts is good for people with short attention spans ::cough cough:: I also liked that they included a gay lady blog and a piece on Ryan Gosling from Jezebel. Hellz yeah laydeez content.

It’s also pretty family friendly. Like, if you want to take your parents to the 8pm show and explain the internet to them through Blogologues you could. (Um, just make sure you’re cool with sitting next to them while someone sings a song about fucking outdoors) Or take a date to the 10 pm show. Blogologues runs until May 5th, so New Yorkers get on it. Click here for more info!

Interview with Jessica, Author of “Alone With Cats”

12 Thursday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Sexy Ladies, Social Disease

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Allison Goldberg, Alone with Cats, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime, Blogs, Cats, comedy, Craigslist, Dating, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, humor, Interview, Jen Jamula, Jezebel, lesbian, LGBT, Lively Productions, Love, NYC, NYC Events, Overheard in New York, Players Loft Theater, Queer, relationships, Stage, Texts from last night, Theater

Now for something a little different. Hot Femme also writes for BGAlife.com, from a more journalistic angle. I loved this interview so it’s going on Hot Femme. I hope you enjoy!
Blogs: They’re not just for the internet anymore, bitches. Lively Productions is bringing their latest project to the stage in NYC, Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime. Blogologues was conceived by Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula. They take popular online content verbatim, from sites such as Jezebel, Craigslist, Texts from Last Night, Damn You AutoCorrect, Overheard in New York, and launche it IRL.

Jessica of "Alone with Cats"

Luckily for the here and queer set, they’ve decided to take one of my fav 2-d lezzie blogs off the computer screen and into real life. Alone With Cats focuses on Jessica’s life with her two feline life partners, Teva and Isabel. She writes about her love life, dating, family, and her daily misadventures.

Jessica was nice enough to answer some of my burning questions about Alone With Cats and Blogologues. Read the riveting results below!

How did you get involved with Blogologues?

I checked my email one glorious night expecting to learn more about penis enlargement products and hear back from my Nigerian princess pen pal who desperately wants to give me $40 million dollars, but instead I received an email from Lively Productions co-creative directors Allison Goldberg and Jen Jamula, asking permission to perform one of my blog posts in a new show called Blogologues. It was no promise of a foot-long dick, but still an intriguing offer. I traveled to New York City for the show, and it was awesome, but I was sure it would be a one-time thing. But they kept wanting to stage more of my writing, and shortly after collaborating with them for the third time, they invited me to join Lively Productions to help out with grant writing and PR. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a marriage proposal. I said “yes.”
Is it weird to watch live people on stage performing a blog entry that was meant to be read silently from a cold, dead computer screen?

It’s weird, in that the voice I hear in my head when I’m writing is my own. So to hear an actress reciting my words and to see her playing me, or a version of me, is kind of a trip. But it’s also pretty amazing to see something I’ve written being used in a way I never imagined it would be. And also, terrifying. I’m always worried that no one will laugh, or that I will single-handedly ruin the entire show. (It hasn’t happened yet, but give me time.) Then there’s the difference between reading blog comments and actually hearing a crowd’s response. Real-life laughs are much more life-affirming than LOLs.

Via http://livelyproductions.org/home/

Do they ever ask to change things or ask for your input? How much of collaboration is it?

They have in the past shortened a post for length, but otherwise, what I wrote is what you get. Part of the Blogologues shtick is that posts are performed verbatim from the internet. So it’s hands-off for me; they do all the heavy-lifting by transforming a blog post into a skit.

How long have you been blogging?

A little more than two years.

Why did you start your blog?

To impress girls. To get a book deal. Fame and fortune. You know, the usual. But also, I realized I hadn’t written anything in about five years. I’ve worked as a newspaper copy editor for most of the past decade, and although I love wielding a red pen and mercilessly judging people for their grammatical errors, I was totally neglecting my own writing. I missed it.

Teva & Isabelle via http://www.AlonewithCats.wordpress.com

The title of your blog is simultaneously a play on the hetero image of a single woman and the lez obsession with cats. Was that on purpose?

Yes, definitely on purpose, but also it’s very true to my life. I’m living the stereotype. I’m alone. I have cats. The name stems from a conversation I had with a friend, who was asking for dating advice. I gave her this long spiel about following your heart and blahblahloveblah, and then there was a pause, and I said she probably shouldn’t listen to anything I say ever because, “Hello, I’m alone with cats.” I started the blog a month or two later.

Your blog is a big hit with both heteros and gays, what makes you universal?

I joke that my blog is about winning at losing, but there’s truth to that. Failure is universal. I try to find the humor in often unfunny situations, and I think that resonates with people. I write candidly about love, sex, loneliness, the pursuit of happiness. And cats. A lot of cats. Those are topics that everyone can relate to. Except, obviously, dog people. I also share plenty of dating horrors and heartbreaks, and readers don’t seem to care whether I’m being dumped by men or women, so long as it makes for a good story.

Tell me something super gay about you.

My shoes. It’s my tell. Don’t let the long hair fool you.

Tell me something I missed that I should have asked here:

You forgot to ask about my feline life partners, Teva and Isabel. They feel slighted. But you can make it up to them with treats. [Ed. Note: ZOMG I suck so hard! How could I forget about the kitties?!]

Want to catch Blogologues: Younger Than Springtime? It’s playing from April 13 and goes through May 5 at the Players Loft theatre at 115 MacDougal St. There are 8pm and 10pm shows and you can get tickets here: OvationTix or call 866-811-4111. Tickets are $18 + a free drink! If you are a New Yorker, you will not want to miss this! I know I’ll be there.

For more Jessica, visit: http://alonewithcats.wordpress.com/

Misdirected Feminism at the Smoothie Shop

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Am I a jerk?, Social Disease

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

all the things, chain store, discrimination, feminism, feminist, ftm, lesbian, meme, men, misogyny, mtf, Queer, smoothie, trans, women

Women make 77 cents to every dollar a man makes?! F U!

I’m an unabashed feminist. I will walk up to the most woman-hating, misogynist in the world and look in his eye and tell him to eff off because I’m a feminist. The only problem is um…maybe sometimes I’m way to excited to tell that guy to eff off. Most women, even among the most progressive, have stopped using the term “feminist” because it brings to mind, unfairly, someone unattractive who hates men. Using that term almost gives people a free pass to write you off. But I’m not scared to be that person. As I said before, I’m too eager to be that person. So, to make a stupid story short let’s get into it. I walk into my favorite smoothie shop.

This is what I look like on my way to get my smoothie. It's a pretty exciting part of my day.

When I get there, I get in line and notice that there are a few new additions to the menu. My eye stops on the new “MEGA MUSCLE XXL BULK-UP TIMES*” smoothie that screams “JUST FOR MEN!” in the description. All of a sudden, I’m so angry I’m blind. My internal monologue starts sputtering righteous indignation:

WHY DON’T THEY HAVE ONE FOR WOMEN?!

WOULD THEY EVEN LET ME ORDER A SMOOTHIE FOR A MAN?! I SHOULD JUST WALK UP AND DEMAND IT! I DON’T CARE IF THEY SAY I CAN’T DRINK IT BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN. WHAT IF I WAS TRANS IN ANY WAY?! FTM OR MTF, I DON’T CARE WOULD THEY LET ME ORDER IT THEN? THAT’S WHAT I’LL TELL THEM IF THEY DARE QUESTION ME!

With a plan in mind, I calm down enough to regain my sight. I glance back at the menu and see that they offer one smoothie just for men and two just for women.

Oops.

Sorry Everyone! No misogyny here! Keep movin!

 

*Names of smoothies have been changes to protect the innocent, non-discriminatory chain store.

Ask the Femme: Why are Women Using me for Sex?

05 Thursday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Ask the Femme, Dating, Relationships, Sexy Ladies

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

bar, bisexual, casual sex, club, dancing, Dating, gay, gym, hooking up, hot girls, lbq, lesbian, LGBT, LTR, online, online dating, Queer, relationships, Sex, where to meet women

Nice boobs...do you want to give me your number? This may or may not be a great start to the romantic relationship you want.

Do you feel like women are just using you for sex? Yes, mainstream America. Women enjoy sex and no matter what Sex and the City tells you, we are capable of no strings attached sex…even lesbians. Do all your dates turn into hook-ups or one night stands? Let’s turn that around.

Hi Natasia,

I was kind of an ugly duckling, I’ve been hot for about a year now and at first it was great. I didn’t realize how easy it would be for me to meet women. I’m a nester and it seems like all the girls I date just want to use me for sex, one night stands, two night stands, bootycalls whatever. I’ve been dating for like 10 months now and it keeps happening. I meet girls in bars and clubs, but also through mutual friends and at the gym.

I think maybe part of it might be because sometimes they are too much younger than I am, I’m late 20s and sometimes I end up with girls in their early 20s. I think it could be a cultural thing too. I’m Brazilian and sex and passion mean different things to me than they do to some American girls. I take it to heart. I don’t think these women see all the potential I see in them…or maybe I’m just being too nice. I’ve always been inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. One girl told me that we wouldn’t just have sex…then of course we did, cuz I have no will power! How do I turn these girls into potential romantic partners instead of just sex partners?

– Too Sexy Nester

Hi Nester,

It sucks to feel like you are being used for sex! There is definitely a disconnect between the way you are approaching these women and the way they are approaching you. The gym and mutual friends are a great way to meet women, bars and clubs, not as great, but it’s important that you keep putting yourself out there. So keep meeting women at the gym and through mutual friends, but make sure they are closer to your age range. Although there aren’t as many years between you and girls in their early 20s, people change a lot during those years and early 20s are usually for partying. You can tell your friends who want to play matchmaker that you are looking for girlfriend material, that might keep them from introducing you to the town stud.

It’s not impossible to meeting a girl in bar/club and start a relationship with her, but it’s less likely. Meeting someone in a bar makes your appearance the most important thing to her (that’s why she brought you that drink right?) so take looks out of the equation and try some LGBT volunteer work. This way the women you meet know something important about your personality right off the bat and are drawn to your altruism instead of your pretty face. Also, try online dating. I know, I know, it seems awful, but it’s a great way to weed out the girls who are just looking for sex and find the ones that are looking to settle down.

If you are looking for a relationship online, don't make your profile pic something too provocative. It could attract women for the wrong reason. Make it something sweet that shows who you are. On a side note, I totally have this bikini.

Sigh and now…the Rule. I hate the Rule because it’s so archaic BUT if you are looking for a serious partner…you are going to have to make her work to get you in bed. I would recommend waiting a month from the first date before you get busy in the sheets. This serves two purposes: 1) It will get rid of the girls who aren’t serious about you and can’t see how amazing you are and that you are worth waiting for. 2) It will protect your heart and make you feel less bad when a girl calls it quits. If sex makes you feel prematurely attached to someone before you really know them, wait! If you feel used by these women, break the cycle now, before it gets worse.

Good luck Nester! I hope you find what you are looking for. Keep me updated!

Have a question only I can answer? Message me on Facebook!

Lesbian Memes!

02 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by natasiarose in Am I a jerk?, Social Disease

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

bi, birhtday, fantasy, forever alone, fry, gay, hipster ariel, internet memes, lesbian, LGBT, lip ring, Memes, one does not simply, Queer, Sex, that's what she said, y u no, y u no guy

Today is my birthday! The official day of self indulgence. I have a love/hate relationships with birthdays because on one hand, you’re older but on the other hand, it’s like your own personal national holiday.

I’m 28 years old today (although I totally have the skin of a 27 year old, Thanks Oil of Olay! WINK) and I’m totally indulging myself with my favorite thing. You guys know what I love? A good meme. They keep me amused for hours. But there’s totally a dearth of memes by lesbians for lesbians. What every queer girl needs is a meme of her own. So I’ve created a few for us, just for funsies. Enjoy!

Amirite?!

Forever Alone

Unrequited lesbian love

It actually requires a lot of planning. Holla fantasy nerds!

Let's go for it, ladies. Let's ask the deep questions.

The aftermath of sleeping with your ex's ex

Because I had to0

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