I Love Being a Lesbian: Body Acceptance Edition

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appearance, Beauty, body acceptance, body image, Dating, diversity, gay, gay girl, gay girls, lesbian, lesbian sex, LGBT, Love, Piercings, playboy, Pride, Pride Month, Queer, Rachel Maddow, relationships, sexy, Tattoos

Pride month is halfway over and I thought I’d take this opportunity to write about one of the things I love most about being gay.

Umm besides the hot, hot lesbian sex, of course

I love the acceptance of the queer community of all kinds of looks. Straight woman have a very strict standard of beauty they have to adhere too. They can either be hot like Britney Spears hot or like Megan Fox hot. Society, parents and boyfriends constantly scream at them to be thinner, younger, whiter, blonder. This is what I call being “conventionally attractive.”

You can be the one on the right, or you can be the one on the left.

I’m not saying that lesbians don’t suffer from that kind of pressure or that we are perfect. But the truth is, we have a much more diverse standard of beauty than mainstream society. Conventional beauty is great, but unconventional beauty needs to be appreciated too, and in our community it is. No matter what your  look is I promise you are going to be able to find a girl that’s crazy into it. Lesbians are into a rainbow of different looks. Like, gay girls go crazy for the uber-curvy out rocker Beth Ditto, who would probably never be featured inPlayboy.

Go on with your bad self, girl!

We celebrate all backgrounds

We line up to make out with girls with piercings

We love women who smash gender conventions

Ink? Yes, please

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your look is the outer manifestation of who you are on the inside. It’s the face you choose to show the world and that’s why there are so many magazine, TV shows and books devoted to looks. Finding acceptance in this world is so hard. Queer girls all know that hot women come in all colors, shapes and sizes. No matter what you look like, you can be sure that you will find a sexy lid for your sexy pot. And I am so proud to be a part of that.

Stuff Fashion Designers Want You to Wear: Vagina Flap Skirt Edition

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asymmetrical hemline, Fashion, Game of Thrones, gay, Gone with the Wind, King's Landing, lesbian, Queer, Scarlett O'Hara, silly putty, skirt, Urban Outfitters, women, women's clothes

I don’t understand fashion. I understand clothes that look sexy, or cute, or comfortable or flirty or badass. But I can’t quite grasp why it is fashion designers try to outdo themselves to see who can get women to wear the craziest article of clothing they can manufacture. Today, I was walking by Urban Outfitters and saw THIS:

BEHOLD THE VAGINA FLAP SKIRT

Let me just say, I don’t have a problem with Urban Outfitters, but I think Urban Outfitters might have a problem with me. Let’s break this down, they think women want to buy a high waisted skirt, with elastic, that’s made of jersey the same color of silly putty after you’ve stuck it on a newspaper too many times. That wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t feature a cut out flap right over the part that the skirt is designed to cover. It reminds me of a fresh modern take on the curtain dress that Scarlett O’Hara made out of curtains. Only in modern times Scarlett was aiming for easy access.

The mannequin features the skirt knotted demurely at the knee, positioned in the right way to hit you in the knees as you walk, but really why stop there. Why not knot it as high up as you can and really get some air circulating up there. Or, throw it over your shoulder for that Game of Thrones “prostitute from King’s Landing” look.

I like the asymmetrical hemline look, but I cannot get down with this. Can you?

Glittery Glazes: Spring 2012 Nail Polish Trend

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Angel Food, Beauty, Bling, China Glaze, Effie Trinket, Essie, Fashion, Glitter, nail polish, nails, OPI, sparkle, spring 2012, The Capitol, The Hunger Games, top coat, trends, Zoya

Colors of the Capitol: Luxe & Lush by China Glaze. Image via http://www.amazon.com

Happy Friday, lovelies! I’m feeling kinda girly today. So let’s get serious, let’s talk nail polish.Bright colors, glimmer and shine are in for nails this season. I love anything that sparkles and more brands then ever are offering ways for you to bring the bling. China Glaze released a line of nail polishes inspired by The Hunger Games. If you want to go full on diva, Effie Trinket style, coat your nails in Luxe and Lush.

Essie and Zoya are offering sparkling top coats to provide a more demure, transparent look. Zoya offers a green topcoat, green being one of this season’s break out colors. But I prefer Chloe, a pretty, sparkly pink. Because I’m a professional lady, I wanted to find a way to rock this trend while still looking like an adult. I settled on the Pearl Pearlification topcoat by Essie.

Pure Pearlification by Essie

I plan on layering this over a more neutral hue like the classic Angel Food or OPI’s Planks a Lot. Any color that won’t steal the spotlight from the topcoat will work.

Are you planning on rocking glittery nail this spring?

Planks a Lot and Angel Food

I Have Queer Hair

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Hair, haircut, lbg, lesbian, LGBT, Queer, shaved, spring

First, let me start off by saying: It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you, without a dope beat to step too. Okay, now that that’s out of the way let’s resume being gay together. Ladies…I shaved the side of my head. This is Hot Femme before:

Tons of hair? I haz it.

This is Hot Femme missing a huge chunk of hair:

Yeah, that's not pulled back

Does it look better shaved off? Probably not. Am I happier this way? For sure. I’ve worn my hair long for most of my life and needed a change. Also, as anyone who reads this blog knows, I’m so femme that other lesbians usually don’t give me a second look. I totally get second looks now. 😉

Y’all come back, ya hear?! There’s some good stuff in store.

Blush For Eco-Concious Women Who Don’t Get Blush

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activism, animal testing, Beauty, Blush, charity, cruise, eco concious, girly, giving back, lbq, lesbians, Makeup, Queer, rainforest, superbowl, superbowl sunday, sweet, sweet cruises, tarte, volunteer, volunteering

Image via http://www.tartecosmetics.com

It’s Superbowl Sunday and TV is all in repeats, but it’s on and poppin’ at Hot Femme! Let’s keep girly weekend going. I’m clueless when it comes to blush. My previous attempts at blush have ended with me looking like an extra on Dallas. But, I found one ladies!

I’m in love with Tarte cheek stain, ‘tipsy’ is the color that looks the best on me. I try to keep my make-up subtle and ‘tipsy’ adds a subtle flush without making it look like I pile on my make-up every morning. It’s also incredibly easy to apply, just swipe right under the apples of your cheeks and up your cheekbone. Use your fingertips to blend up and voila, you’re all done.

Tarte cheek stains are also alcohol and oil free. It’s also a great choice for queer women because the company is pretty socially conscious. I know what you’re thinking “queer women aren’t more into saving the world than any other group of women! That’s a stereotype. Okay, we have a whole cruise line dedicated to LBQ women who want to go on cruises and save the world. Straight people don’t have that. Just sayin’

Do you have extra vacation days? Me too! Let's save the world and drink heavily! It's the lesbian way.

Tarte doesn’t test their products on animals, they use recycled casing materials and they are totally trying to save rainforests and junk.

What’s your fav blush? Share in the comments!

Mascara: It’s Complicated

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Beauty, eyelashes, eyes, fiberwig, girls weekend, great lash, lash, lashes, Makeup, mascara, maybelline, sephora, superbowl

It’s Superbowl weekend! Exciting! Right? Okay, I’m sooo not a huge sports fan. In fact…I don’t enjoy any type of sport at all. Soooo this weekend, Hot Femme is having a girls weekend in with some yummy posts about makeup. It doesn’t get girlier than that!

I have a confession, I have short eyelashes. I can’t go a day without beauty companies promising me that their mascara will give me the long, voluminous lashes of my dreams. Yeah, it’s not happening without photoshop.

There are so many choices; do you want the doll look? Crazy colors? Curling? Waterproof? Non-clumping? Do you want a comb mascara brush or a curved bristle brush? I don’t offing know, to be honest. The long standing staple of mascara has been Maybelline Great Lash mascara. The pink bottle, the green top, you can’t go wrong with a classic.

I used to layer Victoria Secret’s mascara with Maybelline Great Lash to give me the illusion of lashes. Buuut I just switched to Sephora Fiberwig mascara and I kind of like it.

Image via http://www.ehow.com

It’s pricey at 24$ a tube, but it’s worth it for a one swipe experience in the morning. I really only recommend it if your like me and your lashes need an extra (extra) boost. If you have naturally long lashes, skip the Fiberwig, it’s harder to get off and more expensive.

My cousin, who’s lashes always look great, layers TooFaced Lashgasm with Neutrogena Healthy Volume. For that special mix of boutique and drugstore brands, which is a good way to get great lashes without breaking your bank.

What kind of mascara do you use? Do you have any tips?

Sh*t Straight Girls Like: Merkin Edition

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animal cruelty, feathers, fox fur, gay, lbq, lesbians, LGBT, merkin, Queer, real housewives of new york, straight girls, vajazzle, waxing

This is the least disgusting example I could find

Do you know what a merkin is? If you watched The L Word you do…remember that journalist or book reviewer who hated Jenny and then Jenny put her dog to sleep and dated her girlfriend or something? I don’t remember. To make a long story short- a merkin is a wig for your vag. Like if you don’t have any hair on it. Sooo there’s that.

I wasn’t clear on the point of a merkin until recently. I thought perhaps it was for practical reasons, like if your vag is cold or something. No one wants that part of their body to freeze off. It’s pretty important. But apparently the function of a merkin is decorative. Former Real Housewives of New York co-star Cindy Barshop owns a hair removal business that also provides vagazzling services. As the name implies, vajazzling is bedazzling for your vagina.

Vajazzling is something I can understand. I like sparkles and I like beaver. So put them together and great! Although it seems like rubbing on a body part that has rhinestones glued to it would irritate one’s skin…or tear it off, depending on the body part.

Let's save the scissoring for your next art project

…ouchies.

Interspecies hair is so hot right now

Anywho, the patrons of Cindy Barshop’s salon can now get the human hair waxed off their vag and have dyed pink fox hair or feathers glued onto their skin for the low, low price of 100 dollars! That’s an extra hundred on top of what you already paid to get waxed. Now you can get your animal cruelty fix while you actively throw your hard earned money down a rathole. I believe that’s what Oprah calls ‘multi-tasking.’ There’s a reason 20-something straight women are the demographic group most likely to file for bankruptcy. Because it’s not enough for them to get waxed anymore, not they also have to pay to add hair back ON once they take it off.

Next time anyone says that I’m ‘too pretty too be a lesbian’ or asks me ‘why do lesbians dress like men?’ I’m totally going to say “at least we don’t glue neon pink fox fur onto our vaginas!” and then storm off. Probably leaving a confused straight person in my wake.

Seriously, straight women, if you are reading this, just say no to merkins.

*This post is completely satire and not meant to offend any straight women. We all know the majority of women would never go for a product like this, and it’s ridiculous that anyone would consider marketing this to any woman, anywhere.

Ask the Femme: Are Push-Up Bras False Advertising?

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Adriana Lima, advice, ask the femme, bisexual, Bra, BRas, Dating, femme, gel bra, Padded bras, Push-up bras, Queer, relationships, Shakespeare, Victoria's Secret, water bra

Yeah, those are way too sexy to be real.

I’m a big believer in the power of a great bra. Push-up or padded, if you got ’em you might as well make them look great right?! I was recently informed that not everyone thinks this way. Some of you, apparently, are disappointed when you whip out your best “one handed bra unsnap” trick and…then…they’re smaller than advertised. Like, way smaller. Is that really so awful? You’re still going to sleep with a hot chick and her boobs are still hawt! So suck it up! And when I say “suck it up” I’m not just talking to my homogrrls, I’m including straight men in this too.

It could be worse, you could be a straight chick who has to deal with the “unveiling.” Straight/bi ladies, you know what I’m talkin’ about. Gold stars-just go about your business and don’t worry about it.

Straight women have even LESS of an idea of what they are getting into and it has the potential to be a lot worse. Scary worse.

Anywho, let’s get to the question from a girl who loves to push ’em up.

Hi Femme,
I recently bought a bra that has gel filled inserts. It makes my A-cup boobies look incredible. It’s become my standard date bra. I’ve been out with this girl I like four times and the last time, we had a really hot makeout sesh at my place. While we were kissing she tried to feel up my boobs but I had to put the kibosh on it (I didn’t want her to realize my boobs felt like tiny water balloons) and she went home soon after.

She hasn’t called in 2 days and I’m flipping out. I liked her a lot, but what if she thinks I’m not into her anymore? What if we do see each other again and I take my bra off and she realizes I’m not as well endowed as I led her to believe? Should I just toss the bra and the girl and start over?
ABC

Hi ABC,

Thanks for writing in! Oh gosh, don’t throw away the girl or the bra! Look, it’s not dishonest to make the most of your assets. Dating is frequently about selling yourself to the other person, it would be nice if looks didn’t figure into the equation but they do, at least in the beginning. However, you’ve been on four dates with this chick and she probably likes you for your personality too.

Amazing at any size, amirite?!

Plenty of girls wear padded or push-up bras, just ask anyone who’s accidentally brushed up against me at a bar. it’s a great alternative to breast implants and it’s an easy confidence booster. You are not alone. I believe it was Chilly of TLC that said, “Don’t get implants, just push ‘em up!” It was either her, or Shakespeare. I forget which one.

Anyway call your girl, ask her out on a date for a weekend night so she knows you like her enough to spend a precious weekend night with her. If you two get down and dirty after your date, just take the bra off like it’s no big deal. If you treat it like it ain’t no thang, she won’t think anything of it. She’s probably seen her share of padding in her life. If you make the mistake of being dramatic about it, she might think you are crazy. Remember, chances are she’s giving her ladies a little boost too.
Good luck ABC! Let us know how it goes.

Have a love/sex/relationship or dating question? Message me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/natasiarose

Bad Lesbian Halloween Costumes

Tags

bad halloween costumes, bisexual, breakup, catholic schoolgirl, costumes, Dating, drinking, femme, friends, Halloween, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, Lilo, Lindsay Lohan, prisoner, Queer, relationships, Samantha Ronson, SamRo, Sex, sexy, Yoga Instructor

Remember how cute they were together?Not anymore. Totes dunzo.

I know, I know. There’s a lot of Halloween going on “up in this bitch” as the kids say. BUT, I can’t get enough Halloween. I have to say, Halloween is a great time to impress your crush with how hot/creative you are. I know some of you who thought my costume ideas were really inside the box (pun intended) have a few awesome, creative ideas for Halloween costumes. I’m sure they are going to be wunderbar but we need to talk about costumes that you should avoid wearing this Halloween.

Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson

Ok, the urge to dress like these two can be strong. Especially is you are coupled up. However, it’s better to avoid dressing as these two. First of all, they haven’t been happy together since like 2006, so it’s all a little dated. These days SamRo is quietly dating a yoga instructor and steering clear of Lindsay whenever possible. Lilo went all stalkerazzi on Sam and bought an apartment in the same complex as her and it was all embarrassing and weird. Which is kind of a downer. Meanwhile, Lindsay’s problems are getting worse and worse AND the media is treating her like public enemy number one for really no reason. Does anyone even remember what she did? Yes, she’s a trainwreck, but she also never hurt anyone and there are plenty of celebrities who have, who are jail free. (I’m looking at you Charlie “McDomestic Violence” Sheen) So let’s leave Lindsay alone. NEXT!

Prisoner

Sometimes, the difference between sexy and trashy is obvious. Exhibit A.

Chances are, if you a blond/redhead and dress up as a prisoner everyone is going to think you are Lindsay Lohan anyway. And we’ve already discussed the reasons that isn’t good. You also have two choices for this costume, either bright orange or black and white horizontal stripes. As everyone knows, horizontal stripes are hard to pull off. But let’s say you are hot enough to pull it off- horizontal stripes in black and white might make the drunk girl you are drunkenly chatting up dizzy enough for the night to end with you holding her hair back. That’s not sexy. And bright orange? That color looks good on maybe 10% of the population. Soooo just say no to crime or drugs or whatever.
Catholic Schoolgirl

I’m not going to front like this costume isn’t sexy. It’s crazy sexy! But, it’s not really for Halloween. It’s just been done to death. It’s

I know what you're thinking. "Ooo it lights up so maybe this one is different!" No, no it's not. There will still be hordes of Catholic Schoolgirls who look just like you.

dead and gone, dead and gone. Like the love between SamRo and Lilo. That’s sad. Save this costume for when you and your lady are looking to spice things up in the bedroom.

Tampon/MaxiPad/Skidmark

Believe it or not, these costumes happen. Frequently. I’m not even going to include a picture, but if you are really curious Google it. For those of you who wear these costumes, listen up! You aren’t funny, you just make everyone want to barf all the Halloween candy they scarfed. You lose. No girls for you.

If you were planning on wearing any of these costumes, return it and try again!

Sexy Lesbian Halloween Costumes For 2011

Tags

batman, boi, Catwoman, cheerleader, costumes, femme, football, grrl, Halloween, halloween costumes, harley quinn, Kendra, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, playboy, poison ivy, Queer, Sex, stud, superheroes

Halloween! It’s one of those holidays you either love, hate or love to hate or hate to love! It’s my favorite drunken holiday, so I think I’m in the hate to love category

This is how a femme can be a football player! (via http://www.3wishes.com)

. This year, I’m being a pirate. My past costumes include Xena, Princess Leia (gold bikini style), Scarlett O’Hara, Britney Spears (Puerto Rican style), a gypsy and a sailor.

Umm…sometimes I go wear more than one costume on Halloween. Anywho, I’ve got some great ideas as to what YOU should wear if you are here and queer this Halloween season. How did I pick these costumes? They’re the ones that I’d like to see you wearing.

Athlete

Some of us need to buy costumes for this and some of us can just wear what we wear out on the field. Softball player is one of my favorite costumes. It’s a good look and it works for femmes, studs and everything in between!

Not into softball? You can substitute any sport. I’ve seen a few really cute football costumes for femmes (see picture). I ALMOST went with this costume this year, but in the end I decided that requires too much ab work. If you are going as a couple- try football player and cheerleader or basketball player and stepper. This can also work for groups and you can even have someone dress up as the referee! Playboy does a really cute referee costume, modeled by reality star ( and rumored bisexual) Kendra.

Want her to call the shots? (via http://www.partycity.com)

Police Woman/Fire Fighter/Military Servicewoman

Who doesn’t love a woman in uniform! Police woman is always hot because of the handcuffs and a fire fighter has a huge hose. If you want to look hot AND celebrate the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, go as a member of our armed forces! Activists are always sexy. The plus with these costumes is that you can find variations with skirts, pants or shorts. So you can stay in your comfort zone and rock it out.

Stud? Boi? Femme? How can a costume exist that everyone can wear? Here it is! (via http://www.3wishes.com)

Gangsta

Lesbians love hats. This costume has a fedora. You love it, your girlfriend loves it, even your ex-girlfriend loves it but she’ll never tell YOU about it. She’s not gonna give you the satisfaction. Sorry! If you are a huge playa, this is the costume for you. Ladies love a bad girl.

You want this fedora. I know you do. Just admit it, girl. (via http://www.3wishes.com)

Superhero

Queer girls can kick ass. What better way to show that on Halloween than by dressing up as your favorite superhero! Wonderwoman is a classic and a great choice for raven haired ladies. Supergirl is good for blondes and Catwoman is good for EVERYBODY.

It can also be good for couples. Want to know my dream couple Halloween costume? Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn from Batman. As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, I’m going to be a pirate this year. What are you going as? Are you doing any cute couple/group themes? Let me know about it in the comments!

Who's going to dress up with me next year?! (via http://www.comicvine.com)